A guide for men perplexed by women
A guide for men perplexed by women

Men and women don’t speak the same language. That’s become so obvious these past few months. 

The scandal that erupted with Harvey Weinstein, or rather Bill Clinton, so far as inappropriate behavior towards women, has now snared comedian Louis C.K., newscaster Charlie Rose and U.S. Rep John Conyers, to name but two of the mighty that keep falling. 

We’re in the middle of an epidemic here in the United States featuring men who do no not know how to talk or act around women.

That’s about all the nation is talking about, men behaving badly, and wondering whose ticket for ruin comes up next. Now we learn that for the past 20 years, Congress has had a multi-million dollar slush fund to pay off sexual harassment victims and keep them silent…silent from naming which member of Congress abused them.

Republicans can be creepy too. But Republicans don’t pretend to be perfect. Liberals do.
It’s gotten so bad that experts now say we need rules and commandments to teach men right from wrong when it comes to women.

Silly me. I used to think we wouldn’t need instructions for something so basic. 

This shouldn’t be political. 

Republicans can be creepy too. But Republicans don’t pretend to be perfect. Liberals do pretend to be perfect – and they can be the creepiest of all.

We won’t even discuss Germany and Sweden where they’ve handed out rules of behavior because where they come from, the newcomers from Islam, men simply rule and have all the privileges. It is not supposed to be like that in the United States. We are Christians. We are Jews.

But around here, if the scandal keeps growing wider – and each day another shoe drops – we may have to consider a PEACE PROCESS and a TWO-STATE SOLUTION. 

Meantime, let me be the first to offer something of a guide to men who need the ABCs all over again.

Or put it like this – A guide for men perplexed by women.

So ladies…please leave the room. This is between us guys.

1. Okay, now we can talk. Dude, you know damn well when you’ve crossed a line. 

2. Don’t tell me you don’t know the rules. You can’t be that stupid.

3. Girls and women are not toys. They do not come gift-wrapped for you as Christmas or Hanukkah presents.

4. You are not as irresistible as you think.

5. Just because your mother told you how wonderful and precious you are, a blessing to the world, keep in mind that this is just one opinion. Instead, think of yourself through the eyes of your MOTHER-IN-LAW. That is usually a far more accurate point of view.

6. If you think that image of Al Franken groping a sleeping woman is harmless and funny, you are beyond help.

7. Do not touch. Think football, where you get flagged for unnecessary roughness.

8. Or think baseball, where leaning in too far over the plate gets you brushed back.

9. Remember the statistics. Women do not think about it nearly as much as men do. So don’t go thinking you are on the same wavelength. Back off and wipe that smirk off your face.

10. When a girl smiles at you, that does not necessarily mean you have been chosen. Usually that’s the end of the story. 

11. More often it means she was having a good day…until you came along.

12.If you think you are sculpted like Michelangelo’s David, maybe so. But it is not advisable to enter a room or to open a door that way. Charlie Rose found this out.

13. Charlie Rose is 75. Rep, Conyers is 88. No matter what good they’ve done before or will do again, they will always be remembered only as predators. 

Thank about that next time you decide to act like a jerk.

New York-based bestselling American novelist Jack Engelhard writes regularly for Arutz Sheva. Engelhard wrote the international book-to-movie bestseller “Indecent Proposal” and the ground-breaking inside-journalism thriller “The Bathsheba Deadline.” His latest is “News Anchor Sweetheart.” He is the recipient of the Ben Hecht Award for Literary Excellence. Website: www.jackengelhard.com