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Astrologers: RIP Oslo Accords, 1993-2013

Although Israelis could have probably figured it out on their own, 'official' prognosticators say that in 2013 Oslo will breathe its last.
By David Lev
First Publish: 12/31/2012, 6:22 AM

Oslo Accords: Rabin, Clinton and Arafat
Oslo Accords: Rabin, Clinton and Arafat
Official White House photo

With the secular year coming to an end, many prognostications – mostly for fun, sometimes for profit – and “end of year” predictions abound in newspapers around the world. Israel's secular newspapers are doing their level best to compete, with various astrologers, tea-leaf gurus, and palm readers coming forth with a flood of predictions on the prospects for war and peace, who will win the elections, and how many people will actually read and remember their predictions by December 2013.

Yisrael Hayom, the free daily newspaper funded by American millionaire Sheldon Adelson, has its own astrology section, and on Sunday the paper's stargazers took a stab at reading the future. And as it turns out, one of their “readings” predicts a bitter fate for the Oslo Accords.

“After the recent developments in our region, many have been speaking about the period of the Oslo Accords, which began on September 13, 1993,” the paper said, with much discussion among diplomats about how to revive the “Oslo Process.” But they toil in vain, the paper's astrologers said; the “Oslo Era” has come to an end, and any attempt to artificially revive it will be useless and a waste of time, money and energy.

“The stars tell us that the vision of Oslo is growing more distant,” the paper said. “We will be witness to accelerated attempts to revive it in March and April, or possibility between next October and February 2014. The star charts reveal that while there will be no official 'declaration of death' of the Oslo process and a cancellation of the agreements, there will be a semi-official public relations blitz declaring that the agreements are dead, during summer 2013. We see the Palestinians continuing their unilateral actions, which will nullify the agreements altogether,” the paper said.

The predictions were published in the paper's Facebook feed, with one commenter saying, “I don't know why we need an astrologer to tell us Oslo is dead. This isn't a prediction, it's a fact, and everyone has known it for a long time, even if they told themselves otherwise.”