May the brother of a fallen soldier serve in a combat unit? The controversial question has arisen once again in a big way, following the death of Asaf Ramon, whose astronaut father was killed in space.

Various politicians and public figures have weighed in on the question, and Knesset Speaker Ruby Rivlin promises that the Knesset will discuss the matter.  At present, a child of a bereaved family may not serve in a combat position without his parents’ consent.

Bereaved mother: "The commander said I was within my rights, but I should remember that if I don’t let my son go in, he’ll never forgive me…"





“The tragedy of the Ramon family has sparked anew the dilemma of whether or not this too-heavy responsibility should be placed on the bereaved family,” Rivlin said. “As soon as the next Knesset session begins [after the upcoming holidays],” he told a gathering of 50 war- and terrorism-bereaved families, “the Knesset will have to address this topic, and the families will have to have their say.”

Likud MK Danny Danon, Chairman of the Children’s Rights Committee in the Knesset, said he has received many requests to hold a hearing on this matter. He added that he plans to initiate legislation stipulating that the boys themselves decide whether or not to enlist in a combat unit, without requiring their parents’ consent.

MK Nachman Shai (Kadima), on the other hand, says that Israel must set an across-the-board policy forbidding children of a bereaved family to serve in dangerous army positions. He has asked that the Knesset Foreign Affairs and Defense Committee hold a session on this issue.

Yet another opinion was expressed by MK Moshe Matalon (Israel Our Home). He said that the status quo is acceptable: “We cannot allow politicians and outside elements to get involved in this painful question. Only those who have experienced the loss of a loved one can make this decision; everyone else should just salute and respect the fallen.”

Defense Minister Ehud Barak agrees that the families should continue to decide, and added that the army does not allow two brothers to participate in the same dangerous mission: “We sometimes had to decide which of two brothers in the same commando unit should take part in a mission; under no circumstances would both go. I remember the Netanyahu brothers competing between them all the time as to which of them would go on the mission.”

Former IDF Personnel Corps Commander Gen. (res.) Elazar Stern noted that the dilemma takes on acute dimensions “when you face those youngsters who want to be combat-worthy in order to continue the tradition of their father or brother… Even if a law is passed, it will not be able to withstand a mother who wants her son to be drafted into a combat unit.”

The “Yad LaBanim” soldiers’ memorial organization, which was founded some 60 years ago by mothers whose sons had fallen in battle, took a stand on this painful question as well. In a letter to the IDF and to the Defense Minister, the organization opines that mothers must be taken out of the picture, and the decision of whether to draft the soldiers in question into combat units left exclusively in the hands of the army. “Relieve us from dealing with this fateful decision,” the organization requests.

Atty. Yehudit Shachor, whose son Uri was murdered by Palestinian terrorists in Wadi Kelt near Jericho, disagrees with Yad Labanim. She spoke on Wednesday with Arutz-7’s Hebrew newsmagazine about the dilemma she and her husband faced when her son began to approach army age: “My son Uri was murdered in 1995, and my little son Binyamin was then 9… When he studied at the Atzmona pre-military yeshiva academy, which encouraged combat duty, he talked a lot about his dream of fighting in a combat unit. It was clear that we would allow him to fulfill his dream; we signed our approval, and said, ‘May G-d watch over you.’”

“The army cannot make this type of decision for the family. The people involved are too young… I’ll give you an example: During Operation Cast Lead, shortly after I had another tragedy – my husband passed away – I was informed that two of my sons were inside [Gaza]. I really felt like I was about to fall apart… I called my son’s commander, and asked him not to send my son into Gaza. He said that I was within my rights, but that I should remember that if I don’t let him go in, he’ll never forgive me… I asked my son not to go in, and he agreed – and even then, the commander told him that he should go in and put into practice all that he had learned and that he would not forgive himself otherwise. My son did not go in, but this shows that the commanders only see the military side, and not the entire picture.”