Black eyes. Bruises. Blood. Out of the refuse of a Gaza town, Aliza [all names have been changed] emerged a broken woman. With tears streaming down her face and her body shaking with trauma, Aliza described how she was locked in the home of a man she once thought she loved, treated in ways too crude to print before being left alone to rot.
Aliza met her Arab lover via the internet, and like most girls in her situation, she was promised the world in exchange for a Muslim conversion and a marriage license. Less than one year later, she was left beaten and betrayed. Almost a statistic, Aliza spent all the money she had ($250) to take a cab to the Erez Crossing, and with the help of the rescue organization of Lev L'Achim, she reentered Israel proper and left her life in the Arab "prison" behind. She immediately relocated to America for safety reasons, where she continues to undergo psychological treatment, attempts to obtain a divorce from the Muslim court, and puts her affairs in order.
Stories like Aliza's are commonplace. While every woman's tale has a unique flare, the basic plot repeats itself, proving again and again that no matter how in love you think you are, marrying an Arab in Israel means the end of your relationships, the end of your freedom and independence, and sometimes, G-d forbid, the end of your life. Unfortunately, according to Ze'ev Shtigletz who runs Lev L'Achim's assimilation division, no matter how many times girls hear the facts, when they are serenaded and pampered they become convinced that for them things can be different.
FROM ANY SECTOR, FROM ANY HOME
Since the founding of the State of Israel, more than 3,000 Jewish girls have converted to Islam and married Arab men via the Muslim courts, Shtigletz says. Additionally, some 2-3,000 women are married to their Arab counterparts by common-law marriage, while another 10-20,000 girls are dating Arabs at any given time. This last category, says Shtigletz, is an important component of his occupation. The goal is to get the women away from their Arab boyfriends before they become so immersed that they give up their family, friends and ultimately their selves to tie the knot.
It can happen to anyone. While the majority of Jewish women who date and/or marry Arab men are secular, of low socio-economic status and from largely mixed neighborhoods, there are also plenty of examples from high-standing and/or well-educated families, and even from traditional homes. Shtigletz travels across the country lecturing at any school that will have him, reaching out to parents and teachers, urging them to educate their youth. Public schools often refuse, declaring him a bigot, and religious schools frequently deny the problem even exists.
Shtigletz holds private meetings with girls who have been referred to him by fearful family members and friends. He uses scare tactics, citing heartrending examples of unfortunate young women, but mostly relies on the facts to encourage the girls to drop their Arab friends. Shtigletz is neither a pessimist nor a bigot. "Putting aside the Jewish law that one is not allowed to intermarry," he says, "facts on the ground make evident that intermarriage between Jews and Arabs in Israel is a dangerous idea." He explains that physical abuse is rampant among the Arabs, and empowered Arab wives are few and far between.
"I once was told about a girl from Ramat HaSharon who was dating an Arab boy and considering marriage," says Shtigletz. "Her family had tried to convince her to break it off, but nothing would work. I went to visit her, we spoke, but she seemed distant. Suddenly G-d sent me the idea that I should call an Arab woman to prove my point…
"I asked the Jewish girl where her boyfriend was from, and she said Taibe. I opened the Taibe phonebook and called a number at random… A woman answered. I told her that I was Jewish and that I wanted to ask her a few questions. She agreed. I asked her how old she was and she answered 25. I asked her how many kids she had, she said six… I told her, 'I have my sister on the other line. She is listening to us. She is thinking of marrying her Arab boyfriend. Tell me: should she do this?'
"The woman said, 'Do not let her make this mistake. No way!'"
Shtigletz asked her why she so strongly opposed the match, and the woman responded with a question: "'What, she would like to be beaten?'"
Playing the devil's advocate, Shtigletz replied, "Are there no decent Arabs?" She said no.
"'All Arabs hit! All Arabs hit! They don’t always call what they are doing beating their wives. They say they are just giving us a spanking. But what is a spanking for? Because the coffee wasn't hot enough, or I didn't put in enough sugar, or his friend made him angry - this or that, it's all worth a spanking.'"
The young woman heard her Arab counterpart and promptly broke off her engagement. Lev L'Achim helped her to find a new group of friends, and later a Jewish spouse.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
To read the rest of the article, including comments by Arab sociologist Dr. Abadi Nasser, observations on the prospects of children of these marriages, and more dramatic Lev L'Achim stories, see
Arutz-7's website here.
See a related Arutz-7 op-ed article here,
this series' first article here,
and the
second one here.
Lev L'Achim is an outreach organization working to bring the lost souls of Israel back to their roots.
Mayaan Jaffe runs Jaffe Reporting and PR.
Aliza met her Arab lover via the internet, and like most girls in her situation, she was promised the world in exchange for a Muslim conversion and a marriage license. Less than one year later, she was left beaten and betrayed. Almost a statistic, Aliza spent all the money she had ($250) to take a cab to the Erez Crossing, and with the help of the rescue organization of Lev L'Achim, she reentered Israel proper and left her life in the Arab "prison" behind. She immediately relocated to America for safety reasons, where she continues to undergo psychological treatment, attempts to obtain a divorce from the Muslim court, and puts her affairs in order.
Stories like Aliza's are commonplace. While every woman's tale has a unique flare, the basic plot repeats itself, proving again and again that no matter how in love you think you are, marrying an Arab in Israel means the end of your relationships, the end of your freedom and independence, and sometimes, G-d forbid, the end of your life. Unfortunately, according to Ze'ev Shtigletz who runs Lev L'Achim's assimilation division, no matter how many times girls hear the facts, when they are serenaded and pampered they become convinced that for them things can be different.
FROM ANY SECTOR, FROM ANY HOME
Since the founding of the State of Israel, more than 3,000 Jewish girls have converted to Islam and married Arab men via the Muslim courts, Shtigletz says. Additionally, some 2-3,000 women are married to their Arab counterparts by common-law marriage, while another 10-20,000 girls are dating Arabs at any given time. This last category, says Shtigletz, is an important component of his occupation. The goal is to get the women away from their Arab boyfriends before they become so immersed that they give up their family, friends and ultimately their selves to tie the knot.
It can happen to anyone. While the majority of Jewish women who date and/or marry Arab men are secular, of low socio-economic status and from largely mixed neighborhoods, there are also plenty of examples from high-standing and/or well-educated families, and even from traditional homes. Shtigletz travels across the country lecturing at any school that will have him, reaching out to parents and teachers, urging them to educate their youth. Public schools often refuse, declaring him a bigot, and religious schools frequently deny the problem even exists.
Shtigletz holds private meetings with girls who have been referred to him by fearful family members and friends. He uses scare tactics, citing heartrending examples of unfortunate young women, but mostly relies on the facts to encourage the girls to drop their Arab friends. Shtigletz is neither a pessimist nor a bigot. "Putting aside the Jewish law that one is not allowed to intermarry," he says, "facts on the ground make evident that intermarriage between Jews and Arabs in Israel is a dangerous idea." He explains that physical abuse is rampant among the Arabs, and empowered Arab wives are few and far between.
"I once was told about a girl from Ramat HaSharon who was dating an Arab boy and considering marriage," says Shtigletz. "Her family had tried to convince her to break it off, but nothing would work. I went to visit her, we spoke, but she seemed distant. Suddenly G-d sent me the idea that I should call an Arab woman to prove my point…
"I asked the Jewish girl where her boyfriend was from, and she said Taibe. I opened the Taibe phonebook and called a number at random… A woman answered. I told her that I was Jewish and that I wanted to ask her a few questions. She agreed. I asked her how old she was and she answered 25. I asked her how many kids she had, she said six… I told her, 'I have my sister on the other line. She is listening to us. She is thinking of marrying her Arab boyfriend. Tell me: should she do this?'
"The woman said, 'Do not let her make this mistake. No way!'"
Shtigletz asked her why she so strongly opposed the match, and the woman responded with a question: "'What, she would like to be beaten?'"
Playing the devil's advocate, Shtigletz replied, "Are there no decent Arabs?" She said no.
"'All Arabs hit! All Arabs hit! They don’t always call what they are doing beating their wives. They say they are just giving us a spanking. But what is a spanking for? Because the coffee wasn't hot enough, or I didn't put in enough sugar, or his friend made him angry - this or that, it's all worth a spanking.'"
The young woman heard her Arab counterpart and promptly broke off her engagement. Lev L'Achim helped her to find a new group of friends, and later a Jewish spouse.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
To read the rest of the article, including comments by Arab sociologist Dr. Abadi Nasser, observations on the prospects of children of these marriages, and more dramatic Lev L'Achim stories, see
Arutz-7's website here.
See a related Arutz-7 op-ed article here,
this series' first article here,
and the
second one here.
Lev L'Achim is an outreach organization working to bring the lost souls of Israel back to their roots.
Mayaan Jaffe runs Jaffe Reporting and PR.