People complain when I remind them of the mitzvah to make aliyah. They complain when I remind them not to watch porn. So let’s talk about something else. Let’s learn something about blessings. Every morning when we wake up, we thank G-d for not having made us a member of some other nation. Why? Here’s an example.
Rosh Hashanah, the Jewish New Year, is called Yom HaZicharon, the Day of Remembering.
In contrast, the gentile New Year’s is a day of forgetting, as the song says, “May old acquaintances be forgotten.”
"Where was I last night?"
The Jew seeks to remember G-d by making Kiddush.
The gentile seeks to forget Him by getting stoned drunk.
A time of forgetting who I was with
The Jews blow the shofar.
The gentiles blow out their brains.
The Jews spends the day praying.
The gentile spends the day puking.
On the Jewish New Year, Jews aren’t allowed to engage in sexual relations, even with their wives.
On New Year’s Eve, gentiles end up going home with anything that moves.
"Hey, baby, you're looking pretty good tonight!"
Blessed be the Almighty for making me a Jew!