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Plague of Jellyfish to Hit Israel’s Beaches

By Tzvi Fishman
6/11/2009, 12:00 AM

If my paintball warnings don’t keep immodestly dressed women at home, then at least the Tzunami of jellyfish heading our way will keep them from strutting half-naked along the beaches of the Holy Land. 

Hi, Girls!

Yesterday INN reported the following News Brief:

( A global increase in jellyfish populations is expected to hit Israel, scientists warned this week. Large numbers of jellyfish have been spotted in the Mediterranean Sea, on their way to Israel's coasts.

The jellyfish are expected to hit Israeli beaches in the near future. Those seen on their way to Israel are not usually dangerous, but they can leave swimmers with painful stings.

[End of News Brief]

Without question, G-d is sending the swarms of jelly fish our way to keep all of those itsy bitsy teeny weeny yellow polka dot bikinis in the closet at home where they belong.

Modesty is the hallmark of a Jewish woman. A Jewish woman is not supposed to go strutting around with everything showing, not in her home, not out on the street, and not at the beach. Just because there is sand and surf and sun at the beach doesn’t provide a heter (allowance) for Jewish women to strip off their clothes. Even if it’s a hot summer day, immodest bathing suits are strictly against halacha. Even on a beachfront restricted to Women Only, a Jewish woman is not supposed to parade around outside under the Heavens with all of her flesh spilling out. The beaches of Israel may be great places to cool off, but they are still a part of the Holy Land.

Dream Beach - 5am is the best

And as far as guys are concerned, someone who cares about his soul is wise to avoid busy beaches. Don’t feed me a line about separate beaches for men and women. Unless the beachfront is absolutely hermetically sealed, far removed from regular bathers, a beach just for men doesn’t exist.

For example, the other day, I took my boys to the “Men’s Only” beach in Ashkelon. Yes, there were barriers along the beach blocking off the area from co-ed bathers, but the barriers ended well before the water. And of course, just for spite, there were scantily clad women who had nowhere else to frolic than on the beachfront directly in front of all of the religious kids and fat bearded men like me. It’s a free world, right?

One after another, as if at orchestrated intervals, they paraded along the shore like models walking down the runway of some sleazy Paris fashion show.

“Nachash Tzefah!  Nachash Tzefah!” I screamed out, gathering my little ones and herding them back to our car.

As we have written on several occasions, when a man gazes at an immodestly dressed woman, whether at the beach or while surfing on the Internet, the Divine Presence flees from him and he is enveloped in a terrible impurity.

Warning! Internet Surfing can be Dangerous!

The Sages of the Kabbalah inform us that at the same moment that a girl watcher is enjoying an immodest sight, his soul is attacked by the impure spiritual forces the image creates. His soul, they warn, is mercilessly beaten with vicious blows, more painful than the sting of a thousand jellyfish, causing it to scream out with such horror that the man would pass out from fright if he could hear it.

So my fellow Bearers of the Brit, please think twice before taking an outing to a crowded beach, even if it supposedly “Men Only.”

And to my dear Jewish sisters, why put a stumbling block in front of the blind? Why cause your brothers to sin? And why bring needless punishment on yourselves and your families by violating the tenets of modesty that the Jewish Nation is founded upon? Remember, our beaches, are not international waters,but a part of the Holy Land too. How you behave on the shores of Tel Aviv affects not only the men on the beach, but the future wellbeing of Judea and Samaria settlements as well.  

If you don’t believe me, then go ahead to the beach. Maybe the jellyfish will convince you.

We are waiting for you, girls!