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7 Reasons Why I Can't Attend the Annapolis Conference

By Tamar Yonah
11/21/2007, 12:00 AM

Invitations have been sent out for the Annapolis conference.  I don't know why, but I happened to get an invitation in the mail (yah, right, ha ha).  At the bottom of the invitation, it says, R.S.V.P.  So, here's my answer:

Dear President Bush and Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice,

Thank you for your invitation inviting me to Annapolis  - to yet another peace summit that pressures Israel to amputate her G-d given and fought for land, and give in to terrorism.   I am sorry, but I will not be able to attend.  You may choose from any of these reasons below.  Have fun appeasing the terrorists without me.

I cannot attend the Annapolis summit because:

1)  I have to wash my hair that night.

2)  I'm busy that week, I have to go and clean up the mess in the Palestinian Authority.

3) I don't leave the Land of Israel unless it is for a GOOD reason.

4) I believe in talking softly and carrying a big stick, and no one will HEAR me at Annapolis.

5) I keep kosher, and there is nothing kosher at, or ABOUT Annapolis.

6) I have an appointment with Dr. Phil, and he's going to ask me, "And hows THAT (land for peace formulas) workin' for yuh?".

7) I have to attend the opening of a new outpost/settlement celebration in YESHA.


Readers, I know how creative you are.  Please, add your own R.S.V.P. answers below.  We need to give our government leaders some ideas they can use to not have to fly to Annapolis.  They need our help.  ;-)