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Ask the Rabbi
News & Call-In with Tamar Yonah
Before making Aliyah to Israel, Tzvi Fishman was a Hollywood screenwriter. He has co-authored 4 books with Rabbi David Samson, based on the teachings of Rabbi Kook, Eretz Yisrael, Art of T'shuva, War and Peace, and Torat Eretz Yisrael.
We became reconciled with being scattered Jewish communities around the world, minorities in other people’s countries, instead of a being a united holy nation in our own Land, the cornerstone of the Torah. So it may be that your husband may change his mind after studying the Torah of Eretz Yisrael. (The IsraelNationalNews Judaism-section archives is a good place to start.)
Also, come on a trip to Israel together. Meet with Americans who have made Aliyah. Speak with rabbis. Have your husband listen to some classes at a Zionist yeshiva that has an English-speaking program, like Machon Meir in Jerusalem. If after learning about Israel, he still doesn’t want to come, it may be because other factors are pulling him away.
If a wife wants to make Aliyah and the husband does not, a Jewish Court can force the husband to grant her a divorce and pay her the full sum of the Ketubah.
There is no question that moving to Israel is the biggest and toughest commandment, demanding a total life overhaul requiring great Emunah (faith). It is not a simple matter to leave one’s birthplace, extended family, language, culture, job, etc and start all over again in a new place. He may simply be afraid, and this is perfectly understandable. But ever since our forefather, Avraham, left his birthplace and family and moved to the Land of Israel, the potential is in our genes.
In short, do everything you can to save your marriage, and give your husband a chance to understand why you feel the way you do about living in Israel. If all of your efforts fail, and he still refuses to budge in his stance, then ask a real rabbi and not a mere blog writer like me.
For articles related to the holiness of the Land of Israel and also the holiness of a marriage relationship, see my site: JewishSexuality.com