They Scoffed at Noach Too!

They ridiculed him. They laughed. No one paid any attention to his warnings. For 120 years, he worked on building the ark, so that people would pass by and ask what he was doing, giving them a chance to repent.

"Hey, Noach! What a cornball you are!"

“Hey, Noach, what the heck are you building?”

“An ark?”

“A what?”

“An ark.”

“Why the heck are you doing that?”

“Because Hashem is planning to destroy mankind because of its rampant sexual immorality.”

“Ha ha ha,” they laughed. “You’ve got to be kidding.”

“I’m not kidding at all,” Noach answered.

“What a joker!” they scoffed. “Stupidest thing we’ve ever heard!”

In the end, no one took Noach’s warning seriously. No one changed his evil ways. The rest of the story is known to everyone – all of existence was wiped out in the flood, except Noach’s family and the animals he brought into the ark. 

In deference to readers who don’t like discussions of sexual themes on this blog, the more detailed continuation of this essay can be found on our www.jewishsexuality.com website.

Mashiach Now!

After hearing a few sentences of Bibi's speech yesterday, I had to rush to the bathroom to vomit. He blabbed about wanting peace and two states, side by side, with such sincerity that I felt sick to my stomach. Of course, he himself doesn’t believe anything he says. If Obama were to change his whip tomorrow and declare that Israel must rule over all of its Biblical territory in the interest of world security, Bibi would be the first to grow a beard and start wearing a tallit and sandals. The guy just says anything he thinks will make him popular. Nothing else matters to him.

And Peres with his Wax Museum smile. Too bad no one reminded the big international star of the 2000 Jews who have been murdered by his Arab pals since he started giving them rifles and autonomy at Oslo. What a distinguished statesman! He and Goldstone will be bunkmates in heaven for their contributions to Am Yisrael.

And what ever became of Lieberman’s tough talk against the Arabs to get him votes in the last election? Zero. All the nasty Russian bear has been doing is jumping through the hoops of the goyim on his round the world tours.

Since we are on the subject - what about the Shas Boys? They are the best breakdancers around. Mister Bo Jangles, dance. With an Al Jolson tap tap tap and a bow, hands outstretched to take the money from the crowd.

They’re all phonies. Of course, it’s all a part of G-d’s plan, to make us cry out for Mashiach.

He’s the only one who can change things. First, he’ll imprison all of the bimboes who dare strut around the streets of the Holy Land in immodest attire. Then he’ll give the Jews of the Diaspora an ultimatum – either come on aliyah now or join the fate of the goyim. Next, he’ll tell the Arabs to get out of the country by high noon. If the UN complains, a Tzunami will hit NY the same day. If Obama threatens to take action, the White House will be swallowed up into the earth. If Peres orders all of the Yassamnikim to arrest the Mashiach, they will all be turned into statues of wax on the spot.

Look out Flatbush!

We want Mashiach now! We want Mashiach now! I’m ready. What about you?   

In The Beginning

Question: I think you place too much emphasis on sexuality. What does it have to do with Israel or the Jewish People?

Answer:

It's our job to bring mankind back to the Garden

Sexuality has everything to do with Israel and the Jewish People. Mankind’s first transgression, which brought about man’s expulsion from the Garden of Eden, resulted from Adam and Eve’s misusing the holy sexual energy that G-d had placed in the world. Subsequent generations continued in their footsteps until the time of Noach, when the whole world became polluted with sexual sin. Only when Abraham appeared on the scene of world history, and entered into the Covenant of the Brit with G-d, was the world offered hope of rectification. It became Abraham’s task, and the mission of the Jewish People after him, to restore the Kingdom of G-d to the world which had been shattered by the sin of Adam and Eve. It was through the holy example of the Jewish People, that mankind was to learn the holiness of the marital union, upon which all of life is based. But in order to fulfill our destiny as the holy Nation of Israel, and lead the world back to the “Garden,” where the word of the Almighty rules over every aspect of life, we ourselves must first sanctify the holiness of our sexual lives. With this understanding, it can be seen that Jewish sexuality is not some unimportant side issue, but rather the very foundation of Israel’s world mission....

In deference to readers who oppose my discussing the secrets of Torah on this website, especially when dealing with sexual matters, the more detailed continuation of this essay can be found on our www.jewishsexuality website.