S@X Makes the World Go Around - UPDATE: MIKE GIVES UP!

A few years ago, someone read an article I wrote about the importance of “Shmirat HaBrit,” and wrote me an email, asking if he could speak with me on the phone. It turned out that he had developed a serious illness, and doctors advised him to undergo a difficult and risky operation. In addition, their only child had developed some sort of psychosis, may Hashem have mercy on us all.

On the phone, he insisted that he and his wife were careful in following the laws of Taharat HaMishpachah (family purity), and that they behaved modestly in their conjugal relations, and that he didn’t watch pornography on the Internet. Since it was during the beginning of Sefirat HaOmer when Rabbi Leon doesn’t meet with people at his yeshiva, I suggested he make an appointment to speak with Rabbi Moshe Ben Tov, the well-known “Mezuzah Rabbi.” After studying their mezuzahs, Rabbi Ben Tov addressed his comments to the wife. He showed her that on the holy parchment where the “Shema Yisrael” prayer is inscribed, the Hebrew word for “your children,” had been eaten away by a worm. He told her that their troubles stemmed from the fact that she was using a diaphragm as their method of birth control.

Unlike other forms of birth control, like IUD’s and the pill, that Rabbis are wont to recommend in selected cases where birth control is warranted, the use of a diaphragm and foam, and the wholesale slaughter of sperm which it causes, is a serious halachic problem. Here is not the place for a detailed investigation of birth control devices and the weighty and detailed rabbinical considerations that surround their use. Only personal consultation with a qualified Orthodox Rabbi can lead a couple to a proper decision if it is allowed in their situation, what form it should take, and for how long a time.  

The point of the story is, sure enough, when the couple stopped using the diaphragm, the husband’s medical problems gradually disappeared with the aid of medicines and prayer alone, and their son began to act normal once again.  

In a similar case, a man was brought to despair when his business went sour and he faced bankruptcy. Rabbi Leon explained that the source of his problems stemmed from his bedroom. In engaging in all kinds of immodest acrobatics with his wife, he was spilling semen in vain. This was clogging the spiritual channel which brings blessing and prosperity to a person.

Remember Someone is always watching and all of your deeds are recorded on the Hard Drive in the Sky.

In another case, a husband and wife met with Rabbi Leon because of constant marital quarrels that were leading toward divorce. With his spiritual periscope, Rabbi Leon saw her surfing on the Internet and rendezvousing with a man who she admitted meeting through a cyberspace chat “just out of curiosity.”

Another time, a husband and wife came to Rabbi Leon, wondering if they should risk having another child, since both their first two children were born with seriously impaired eyesight. Once again, the problem stemmed from the bedroom, because the husband would look at his wife’s private place.

The horror stories go on and on. Most of them are caused by a lack of education, or by the difficulty in overcoming the age-old evil inclination which is so strong in the sexual arena.

Today in the Counting of the Omer, we have reached the sefirah of “Yesod of Yesod.” As we have written, the spiritual channel of “Yesod” is associated with the holiness of our sexual lives. The Hebrew word “Yesod” means foundation. As we approached the holiday of Shavuot, now is a good time to make an honest appraisal of our sexual lives and to begin to put things in order. Many times, as the years go by, we forget the laws we learned in preparation for our wedding night. These laws should be relearned since they are the foundation of Jewish life. We should also be honest with ourselves in seeing what “extras” and “frills” we could do away with in the bedroom to insure the sanctity of our relations. Without going into the mystical side of the matter, what goes on in the bedroom, or in a rented hotel room, or in front of a computer, or with the girls in the office, determine the state of our mental and physical health, our livelihood, our marital happiness, and what happens to our children.

The “Nefesh HaChaim” explains that the cautioning of our Sages, ãò îä ìîòìä îîê “Know what is above from you” - the decrees from Above affecting your life – they are all îîê "from you.” How we behave in this world brings down the blessings or their opposite which befall us.   

While there are talkbackers who don’t like being confronted with this subject, over the course of this blog, many readers have heeded this message and thanked me in private emails for shedding light in times of darkness, when they didn’t know what was going wrong with their lives.  Not everything stems from this, of course, but more often than not, it’s at the root of the problem.

Jewish American Heritage Month

US President Obama has named the month of May – Jewish American Heritage Month. What a proud achievement for the Jewish People! I am sure that all of you feel the same joyous swelling of the heart that I do. We made it! The signing of the Presidential  declaration, and its ratification by Congress, are official proof that the goyim have accepted us! Could there be any greater achievement and honor than this?

Jewish Americans or American Jews?

Finally, we have joined the list with the Irish Americans, Italian Americans, African Americans, Mexican Americans, Chinese Americans, Eskimo Americans, Spanish Americans, and Palestinian Americans. Shecheyanu, V’keyemanu, V’higeyanu Lazman Hazeh!

Notice the wording. Jewish Americans. Not American Jews. Jewish is an adjective describing the main noun of the phrase. That means that we have finally been recognized as true-blooded Americans. We are Americans first. Our Jewishness is our religious persuasion, a secondary matter that will no longer get in the way of our acceptance as being full-fledged American citizens, like everyone else.

To play a part in this historic milestone and this shining hour of the Jewish People, I would like to single out a few of the many Jews who helped lead us to this outstanding recognition of our heritage.

Henry Kissinger

Bob Dylan

Sandy Koufax

Norman Mailer

Simon and Garfunkel

Groucho Marx

Woody Allen

Leonard Bernstein

Sammy Davis Jr.

Just to cite a few.

Try It! You'll Like It!

The first thing G-d instructed our forefather, Avraham, was to leave his birthplace and come to the Land of Israel. This was to be an example for the Jewish People for all time, as our Sages teach us, “The deeds of the forefathers are signs for the children.”

This was at a time when there were only dangerous heathens and idol worshippers living in the Land. Nonetheless, Avraham came, without hesitation, without complaining, and offering excuses, even though there were no kosher restaurants in Israel, no synagogues with Saturday Night Bingo and Sunday mornings breakfasts with all the bagels and lox you could eat. Avraham came because living in the Land of Israel is not dependent on what kind of government is in power, or how many religious Jews live there, or whether you can find the kind of beer you prefer. A Jew is commanded to live in the Land of Israel – period – because it is the Holy Land. As the classic book, the “Kuzari” attests, someone who truly wants to serve G-d in the most complete fashion will do everything in his or her power to go there (Kuzari, 5:23).

The second thing that our forefather Avraham was commanded was to live his life in sexual purity, as exemplified by the commandment of circumcision. Along with living in Israel, this commandment came to distinguish the Jewish People among all other peoples on earth. Living in the Holy Land and living a holy life go hand in hand. Just a few weeks back, we saw in the Torah portion, “Achre Mot,” that the punishment for sexual transgression is exile from the Land.

This connection is highlighted in the Torah portion we read this Shabbat. Perhaps the foremost of the great Moroccan rabbis was the saintly, Rabbi Yaacov Abuchatzera, the grandfather of the holy Baba Sali. In his commentary on the Torah, he writes that all of the terrible curses of exile that are described in the portion, “Bechukotai,” stem from sexual transgressions, known as transgressions to the Brit.

The Torah states:

“But if you will not hearken to me, and will not do all of these commandments, and if you shall despise My statutes, or if your soul abhor My judgments, so that you will not do all of the commandments, but that you break My Brit, I also will do this to you: I will appoint over you terror, consumption, and fever, that shall consume thy eyes, and cause sorrow of heart, and you shall sow your seed in vain, for your enemies shall eat it. And I will set my face against you, and you shall be slain before your enemies; they that hate you shall reign over you, and you shall flee when none pursue you.... And if you will not be admonished by Me as a result of these things, but you will walk in contrariness (keri) to me, then I will also walk contrary to you, and will punish you yet seven times for your sins. And I will bring a sword upon you that shall avenge My Brit; and when you are gathered together within your cities, I will send the pestilence among you, and you shall be delivered into the hand of the enemy...” (Vayikra, Bechukotai, 26:2-25).    

Rabbi Abuchatzera writes:

“As is known, someone who blemishes the holy Brit, even though he observes all of the Torah, his doings are for naught. As the holy Zohar writes, a person who does not have fear of sin in matters of the Brit, has no fear of G-d in anything he does. This is because his body which performs the commandments is blemished. Thus, everything which he does is blemished.

“Both the Rishonim (early Rabbincal authorities) and Achronim (later Rabbinical authorities) have stated that the majority of man’s sufferings, whether through pestilence, the sword, or famine, result from transgressions to the Brit. And whatever mitzvot and good deeds that a person does, as long as his Brit is blemished, it all goes to the forces of evil, may G-d have mercy.

“Therefore, a person who comes to serve G-d should first rectify any blemish to the Brit in the proper fashion, and afterward begin to serve G-d” (From the book, “Abir Yaacov,” section, Pitochei Chotam; Bechukotai).

Transgressions to the Brit include forbidden sexual relations, pre-marital relations, sexual relations with gentiles, and beasts, homosexuality, masturbation, improper marital relations that lead to spilling semen in vain, watching pornography on the Internet, and the like.

Over and over in the Torah potion of “Bechukotai,” we are warned not to relate to G-d in “keri.” The standard English translation implies that we should not relate to G-d in a contrary, happenstance manner, as if He isn’t always overseeing our lives and expected us to fulfill His commands. However, the Hebrew word “keri” ÷øé also means a forbidden seminal emission. This is why Rabbi Abuchatzera attributes the frightening punishments in the Torah portion to sexual transgression. We are warned that if we don’t safeguard the holiness of the Brit, “Your strength will be spent in vain,” where the Hebrew for “spent in vain” is øé÷ whose letters are an inversion of the word ÷øé.

This week, our counting of the Omer brings us to the sefirah of Yesod, which is identified with holiness and the proper use of sexual energies. As Rabbi Nachman of Breslov also teaches, anyone who wishes to put his life and character traits in line with the Torah must sanctify his sexual life, which is the foundation of our nation ever since the time of Avraham Avinu. This is why he called his rectification for sexual sins the “Tikun HaKlali,” or the “all-encompassing rectification.”

Get yourselves out of the doghouse!

Now that we have posted the “Tikun HaKlali” on the Internet, along with other helpful tikunim and guidelines for living a healthier sexual life, there’s a ladder for everyone who needs help to make a new start.