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      Hollywood to the Holy Land
      by Tzvi Fishman
      Tzvi Fishman was awarded the Israel Ministry of Education Prize for Jewish Creativity and Culture

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      Before making Aliyah to Israel, Tzvi Fishman was a Hollywood screenwriter. He has co-authored 4 books with Rabbi David Samson, based on the teachings of Rabbi Kook, Eretz Yisrael, Art of T'shuva, War and Peace, and Torat Eretz Yisrael.

       

      Adar 18, 5771, 2/22/2011

      If You are a Jew, What are You Waiting For?


      I think I can speak for most of us who have merited the incomparable blessing of living in the Land of Israel when I say:

      We love Israel more than bagels and lox.

      We love Israel more than gefilta fish.

      We love Israel more than Ben and Jerry’s ice cream.

      We love Israel more than pastrami sandwiches on rye.

      We love Israel more than getting smashed at Sabbath morning Kiddush.

      We love Israel more than looking at the ladies on the other side of the mechitzah.

      We love Israel more than watching the World Series, Super Bowl, Academy Awards, and Reality TV.

      We love Israel more than reading the Sunday NY Times.

      We love Israel more than Audis, Mercedes, Land Rovers, and Cadillacs.

      We love Israel more than pets.

      We love Israel more than six-figure salaries.

      We love Israel more than six-bedroom houses.

      We love Israel more than swimming pools and country club memberships and going to the movies on Saturday night.

      We love Israel more than our secretaries.

      We love Israel more than our shrinks and anti-depressants.

      We love Israel more than kosher cruises to the Caribbean.

      We love Israel more than junkets to Las Vegas.

      We love Israel more than trips to France.

      We love Israel more than Disneyland.

      We love Israel more than retirement in Boca.

      We love Israel more than the ghettos of Brooklyn and Monsey.

      We love Israel more than living amongst the goyim in LA, Melbourne, Toronto, Montreal, London, Johannesburg, Mexico City, and Chicago.

      We love Israel more than ourselves.

      We love Israel more than our families.

      We love Israel more than our lives.

      Do you want to know why?


       


       


       


       


       


       


       


       


       


       


       



       



       


       

      G-d chose the Land of Israel and gave it to the Jews.

      If you are Jewish, what are you waiting for?

       







      Adar 16, 5771, 2/20/2011

      Old Friends


      Yesterday, I was shooting the breeze with a friend, reminiscing about old times, when he told me about his family and cronies back in America.

      His brother married a non-Jewish girl. To placate his distressed parents, they arranged for a Conservative “conversion,” and they go through the motions of celebrating some holidays, but his brother rarely visits Israel, and his nephews have no interest at all in the country.

      His sister married a Christian turned scientologist, and they disappeared into the prairies west of the Rocky Mountains, only getting in touch with his parents when they run out of funds.

      His two cousins on his father’s side of the family all married gentiles. They don’t belong to any Jewish movement at all, and things like brit milah and bar mitzvahs are not even mentioned.

      Miraculously, one of his cousins on his mother’s side married a Jew, but they got divorced after a few years, and he remarried a Protestant librarian. Another cousin is a homosexual who never married. And the girl of the family has already chewed up and spit out three former husbands, all of them shagetzes of one form or another. Needless to say none of them has ever visited Israel.

      Out of all of his second cousins, to the best of his knowledge, not one of them married a Jew, and none ever visited Israel.

      When it comes to his old Jewish buddies, his best friend from high school married a gentile and believes liberally in all religions and creeds. His longtime roommate from college, a star tennis player, married a shiksa cheerleader who left him with a bad case of venereal disease when she took off with one of her old football jocks. Another dear Jewish friend married a well-meaning Barbi who is gung-ho on raising their two gentile kids Jewish, with bar mitzvahs and trips to Israel to boot.

      My family situation isn’t much different than my friend’s. But thank G-d, my brother married a Jew, and his daughter married a Jew, whose sister recently married a fine Japanese boy. As far as my cousins go, it’s a total Tzunami. And as far as my old friends are concerned – G-d have mercy on their souls.

      Old Friends Who Married Mrs. Robinson's Daughters
      mk

      So whenever I hear that America is a great place for Jews, I cry. The truth is, it’s a total wipe out. By and large, the Orthodox are getting by in their little Jewish bubbles, not seeming to pay much attention to what’s going on with their brethren on the other side of town.

      At least in Israel, no matter how far someone is from the religion, he or she marries a Jew. There are exceptions here and there, but they don’t even reach one percent. At least in this respect, it’s a good thing that the Arabs hate us. That way, even the most vocal lefties don’t end up marrying them. In contrast, in the Diaspora, wherever the Jews are “accepted,” they’re being literally loved to death by assimilation.

      Thank G-d that Hashem miraculous saved me from the same awful fate. As the old saying says, “There, but for the grace of G-d, go I.”   







      Adar 14, 5771, 2/18/2011

      The Golden Computer


      This week, we read in the Torah about the sin of the Golden Calf. If Moshe were to have come down from the mountain today, this is what might be recorded: “And it came to pass, as soon as he came near to the camp, he saw the computer and the people watching bikini contests, Victoria’s Secret, and pornography on the Internet, and Moshe’s anger burned, and he threw the tablets out of his hands, and broke them at the foot of the mountain.”

      Today it would be a computer.

      I can hear you saying, “Outrageous! Scandalous! Fishman has a one-track mind. All he thinks about is sex!”

      And what about Rashi, my friends? Does he also have a one-track mind?

      In the account of the Torah, after the molten calf was formed, the people “rose early in the morning and offered burnt offerings, and brought peace offerings, and the people sat down to eat and drink, and rose up to disport themselves” (Shemot, 32:6). Rashi explains that “to disport” (לצחק) refers to sexual transgression, just as the verb appears in the incident between Yosef and the Egyptian seductress, who accused the handsome Hebrew lad of coming “to disport with me” (Bereshit, 39:18).

      Notice also, my friends, who accuse me of having a one-track mind, the use of the verb “corrupt” (שחת) in the verse describing the sin of the Golden Calf: “And the L-rd said to Moshe, Go, get thee down, for thy people which you brought up out of the land of Egypt have become corrupt” (Shemot, 32:7). The same verb is used to describe the sin of onanism of Er and Onan (Bereshit, 38:9), and the widespread sexual transgressions of the Generation of the Flood (Bereshit, 6:11-12. See Rashi’s one-track one mind, there, and the Zohar).      

      The Jews never believed in idols. Our Sages inform us that the Jews participated in idol worship only as a pretext to take part in the sexual immorality that was always associated with it. So too with the Golden Calf. It was only the Erev Rav who worshipped the idol. The Jews merely stood on the sidelines and enjoyed the sexual orgy that was taking place at the same time, similar to the voyeurism of watching erotic smut on the Internet today. This is what stirred the wrath of G-d.

      So, once again, if you don’t have a filter on your computers, cell phones, and Ipods, get one today.

      And for those of you who are able, it is no coincidence that the portion of the half-shekel donation to the Mishkan is adjoined to the incident of the Golden Computer, to teach us that charity atones for sexual transgression. So instead of wasting your money on vacations to impure lands and gorging yourself on all types of creeping delights, why not send a donation toward the printing and distribution of the Hebrew “Shmirat HaBrit” pamphlet, and help young people in Israel escape the terrible darkness of Internet pornography.

      Do you know what your kid is watching?

       

      We would like to thank a Los Angeles doctor who wishes to remain anonymous for the inaugural donation of $1000 which we received.

      Today, “Little Purim” of Adar Alef, is a special day, on which the given charity to everyone who holds out his hand is especially praiseworthy and blessed.

      Please make checks out to:

      Brit Book

      19 Shoshana Street, Jerusalem Israel 96149

       

      Shabbat Shalom

          







      Adar 12, 5771, 2/16/2011

      There's Nothing Like a Wedding in Israel!



      That’s why there is nothing like a wedding and true Jewish life in Israel, where the words of the Psalm are real.
      Last week, we attended a family wedding up north. No simcha can match a wedding in Israel. There’s nothing like it. It’s much more than the private happiness of the bride and groom – it’s the happiness of the whole nation!

      In Israel, when the hattan breaks the traditional glass signifying the destruction of Yerushalayim, and recites the verse of the Psalm, “If I forget thee, O Jerusalem, if I not set Jerusalem above my chiefest joy,” he says the words with all his heart, and the wedding guests respond by accompanying him in song, “If I forget thee, O Jerusalem, if I not set Jerusalem above my chiefest joy,” everyone together, everyone united as one great family in their love and dreams for Jerusalem and everything it stands for.

      "Above my chiefest joy!"
      mk

      In Israel, it is a holy moment, as profound and moving as the chanting of Kol Nidre on Yom Kippur night. The words of the song on everyone’s lips are so real and filled with meaning, they seem to hang in the air, as if literally adding a block to the walls of Jerusalem. Time seems to stop during this long incredible moment. Eyes shine with tears, knowing that we, with this wedding in Israel, with this joining of two lives in the Holy Land after an exile of 2000 years, the hattan and the kallah, and everyone present, together, are actually rebuilding another block in the walls of Jerusalem.

      my son tries on a shtreimel
      mk

      That’ why there is nothing like the joy of a wedding in Israel. You literally feel and experience the Redemption of the Jewish People unfolding before your eyes. At this wedding, the bride’s family came to Israel from Yemen. The groom’s family came to Israel from Poland and Russia. One grandfather walked hundreds and hundreds of kilometers across deserts to board a boat to the Holy Land. Another grandfather survived Auschwitz as a 14 year old boy. The hattan himself is an Israeli soldier, so the wedding hall was filled with soldiers, Yemenite Jews, black-hatted Hasidim and Haredim, and knitted kippot that swirled around the dance floor in circles like colorful flying saucers.

      Quiz: this Jewish wedding is taking place in Miami, Brooklyn, Toronto, Melbourne, Paris, Berlin, Moscow, or Israel?
      mk

      Let’s face it. When a Jew recently married Clinton’s daughter in New York, how serious was he when he recited the words of the Psalm “If I forget Jerusalem”- if he recited it at all? Who amongst the guests knew the words to join him in the prayer? Or were they thinking more about getting on with the food and the drinks?

      That’s why there nothing like a wedding and true Jewish life in Israel, where the words of the Psalm are real.       







      Adar 11, 5771, 2/15/2011

      The Valentine's Day that Wasn't


      Yesterday, I had no idea it was Valentine’s Day until a reader referred to it in a talkback. That’s one of the great things about living in Israel – you aren’t bombarded with the holidays of the idol worshippers, and with all of their polluted symbols, the way you are in the Diaspora.

      Approximately 141 million Valentine's Day cards are exchanged annually in America, making Valentine's Day the second most popular card-sending holiday after Christmas.

      St. Valentine's Day contains vestiges of both Christian and ancient Roman tradition. The Catholic Church recognizes at least three different saints named Valentine or Valentinus. One legend contends that Valentine was a priest who served during the third century in Rome.

      In love with the Diaspora
      mk

      I suppose if I had wandered into a shopping mall yesterday, I probably would have seen some Cupids and hearts, but I didn’t. And even if some of this cultural poison seeps into Israel, it’s miniscule in comparison to the festive orgy of the pagan hoopla you find when you live amongst the goyim.

      That’s another reason why I can’t understand how my brothers and sisters can live in foreign Catholic and Christian lands when they could live in Israel instead.

      The great love affair with the Diaspora joins the world’s classic love stories, alongside Romeo and Juliet, who were also buried in the same grave, just like the inevitable fate of the Diaspora.

      Lovers buried in the same grave
      mk

      Anyway, speaking about love, or lust, and little naked angels with bows and arrows, nearly 2000 people have already downloaded the pamphlet on Shmirat HaBrit which we posted on www.jewishsexuality.com.

      Print it out and give it to a loved one as a gift. Or send it out in emails. It’s a great tikun for all the transgressions that people commit on Valentine’s Day!