Joint Agonies, Joint Enemies

One of the things I have noticed since becoming a soldier's mother is the increased sensitivity to all things military. Names of Arab towns flash across the news and my ears hear the names and think of their location in terms of where my son is serving. Another heightened sensitivity is the ever-present fears all mother face - of injury, of capture, of worse. And so, as much as I have always been concerned and worried about Ron Arad and even the three soldiers captured by Hizbollah years ago, the more recent kidnappings of Gilad Shalit, Eldad Regev and Ehud Goldwasser was a nightmare more real because for the first time, I too had a soldier.

Elie was inducted into the army less than a year after Gilad was kidnapped. By the time Ehud and Eldad came home in coffins, Elie was already serving on the Lebanese border. Imagining the horror and pain of their families took little imagination.

As Elie has gone through the military these past two years, Gilad has remained a captive of Hamas, denied the protection of international law, which required Hamas to allow representatives of the Red Cross (at least) to see Gilad. News came recently of an American soldier kidnapped in Afghanistan and I wondered if America would now understand our joint agonies, as we face joint enemies.

Bowe R. Bergdahl was serving with an Alaska-based infantry regiment earlier this month when he vanished, just five months after arriving in Afghanistan. He's now been held over one month by Taliban extremists. Bowe comes from Idaho and is only 23-years-old.

Gilad Shalit, aged 19, was kidnapped from Israeli soil as part of an infiltration/attack which resulted in the deaths of two soldiers and Gilad's being dragged across the border into Gaza. Since then, Hamas has refused all attempts to allow international agencies such as the Red Cross to see him.

They were kidnapped by the same enemy, held against their will. Video and transmissions are used not to reassure the families that their sons will soon be home, but to torture them, leave them unsure and bereft.

Gilad and Bowe both deserve their freedom. They were doing nothing wrong when they were captured, other than serving their countries.

In a few short weeks, Gilad will turn 23. He's in his fourth year without his family. In Israel, the government contemplates and then pulls back from the idea of denying Palestinian prisoners visitations from their families, as Gilad is so denied.

These prisoners - caught after violating laws or held for security infractions have brought attention to themselves because they did something - they attacked army patrols, threw rocks or fire bombs or crossed into areas without permits. Gilad did nothing - nothing but enlist in the army, finish his basic training, and take up a position near Israel's border with Gaza.

Palestinians came into Israel, crossed under our fence in a tunnel they dug to enable them to attack Israel...and this is what they did. They dragged a 19-year-old boy into Gaza and then held him for more than 1125 days. They torture his family, suggesting Gilad is hurt, suggest he will die if we don't immediately agree to trade 1000 prisoners...prisoners who were not innocently sitting around doing nothing when Israel came and grabbed them and dragged them off.

And then, when Israel says - ok, we are willing to release hundreds, but show us that Gilad is alive...show us he is well. Follow international law and let the Red Cross see him, talk to him. Let his mother talk to him. Be human beings, for once in your life. We allow wives to speak to their husbands, mothers to their sons. Their conditions are known - many have access to television, computers, even phones, though these are not allowed in the cells (and even then, many have them). Gilad has nothing - be human beings and allow a 22-year-old boy to speak to his mother...and then we are yet again met with a wall of silence.

With the taking of Bowe, America is thrust into the same agony as Israel; Bowe's family into the same horror and worry as Gilad's family.

May Bowe and Gilad come home soon - safe, and healthy.

A Soldier Calls - Who Will Answer?

I wanted to slowly bring you all up to date on my journey as a soldier's mother. It began 2 years ago and I've already posted many of my experiences during those first few weeks. But, as I travel back, we are still moving forward and so today, I want to write about something else and then in the next few posts, complete my look backwards.

In the last few weeks, as Gilad Shalit approached the third anniversary in captivity, my thoughts and prayers have focused on him. I have not allowed myself, except for brief slips, to imagine myself in Aviva Shalit's position. I doubt I could handle it with such grace. I'm sure she is angry at times, how could she not be?

On the 3rd anniversary, many people on Twitter tried to get Gilad's name to the top of the Trends Tracking count. We reached 3rd place - which I believed to be both symbolic...as it was Gilad's third anniversary, and a success.
As that day approaced, Israel released a Hamas leader and I wondered at our government's stupidity. Yes, we have a justice system that requires a trial, a sentence and, at the end of that sentence, release from prison. But what of Gilad's sentence? When does his release come?

It is, to my mind, so very western of us, so very democratic, that we release a Hamas terrorist on a specific day, no matter what he promises to do in the future, no matter what Hamas does all around. The problem, of course, is that we aren't in the west, are we? We don't live among democracies who will honor a trial and a sentence; nor do we live amidst societies who honor life and care about the suffering of others.

Today's news of the release of a second Hamas leader shouts into the darkness that surrounds the Gilad Shalit situation. But it is a mockery, a sham, an embarrassment. Who will answer? Who will explain the logic of releasing two Hamas leaders while an innocent Israeli boy remains in isolation from his family.

Gilad will come home...only when the government and the world are serious enough, only when they care enough to demand it in terms that will force Hamas to release him. When we release Hamas leaders, we send Hamas a clear message - sure, keep your son; that's fine. When we open the crossings, allow fuel and electricity - we show them what fools we are.

Gilad is calling out to us. If we answer, how we answer will determine when he comes home.

Remembering the One Month Marker

There were many posts during the first month Elie was in the army - about the first time he came home in a uniform, the first time he came home with his gun. It's been a long road, traveling over these 2 years since Elie has been in the army and I'm anxious to bring you up to where Elie is now, who he is now. Looking at these older posts brings back so many memories. I smile at the fears I had, the uncertainties. I'm anxious for you to meet Elie as he is now, to see how he has grown, what the army has given him and what he has given the army.

But just as I had to live through each moment, I think I should pull you into the present a bit more slowly than just jumping across months and stages so, here's the post that marked his first month in the army. Already, I was beginning to understand so much of what I now take for granted.

One Month in the Army - April 25, 2007

It's now one month since Elie entered the army. It's been a month of worry, and a month of learning to accept. It's been a month of growth for Elie, and for the family. We have learned to cherish moments, to grab them and hold them close. When he comes home, when he calls.

Tonight, he cannot call me to wish me a good night. To tell me what he did during the day and how things are going. He doesn't call every night, but he calls quite often in the one hour free time per day they are given before they go to bed. So much is regulated for them - when they get up in the morning, how much time they have to say their morning prayers, eat their breakfast.

They have a specified period of time for dressing, for rest periods, eating, and more. They are encouraged to call home because, as I have come to learn, the army recognizes that their soldiers need to have their parents calm and aware of what is happening to them. We become a sounding board, another pair of eyes watching over as they take our sons and transform them into soldiers.

As I wrote, Elie won't be calling tonight because he called last night to tell me that they would be out on an exercise tonight. More shooting practice, and this time, Elie will learn how to shoot...well, some big thing with a gun on top. Happily, this weekend Elie will be coming home again.

That's another thing the army recognizes - the need to do things gradually. To take a boy from his home, after he has grown there 18 or 19 years is a hard thing to do and so the army recognizes that they need to send them home often enough that we understand that we are not losing a son but rather, our son is gaining new experiences. These boys are not ready to be soldiers and hike and run great distances. They need to be built up - strengthened, and so, Elie and his unit walk several kilometers - more and more as time will go by.

What all of this tells us, teaches us, is that we aren't the first. The army actually knows what it is doing with our sons...at least so far.

So - today it is one month that my son has been in the army. There is no cake, no telephone calls, no celebrations. I'm not sure if anyone but me even realizes the significance of the anniversary.

Somewhere, at this moment, Elie is sleeping under the stars of the Negev Desert in a sleeping bag, with his gun within reach. And miles and miles away, I sit here with a quiet sense of satisfaction - that we have come this far. I brought a small 6 year old boy with beautiful blue eyes to Israel and now he has grown old enough to serve in the army.

And a sense of dedication - and a sense of pride.

Lila tov, hamudi (good night, my sweet one).