The best Jewish song of all time is "I'm Shomer Negiyah, because my body's exclusively mine." If anyone has a recording of this, or wants to record it for me, I will play it on the radio.
But that's not what I came here to talk about. I came here to talk about my least favorite song of all time. Now you may think that it could be Arallu, a satanic death metal band from Jerusalem. If you are going to go out of your way to become a satanic death metal band, and you happen to live in Jerusalem, you mind as well be a Jewish satanic death metal band.
I have met and interviewed Yoni Ramone, drummer for Arallu and sometimes Israeli touring drummer for Yidcore. He claims to be the reincarnation of Joey Ramone of The Ramones. Arallu sings in Hebrew and is known for their album Satanic War on Jerusalem. My favorite song is track 2 entitled Jewish Devil. Now, you may think that this ranks high in the list of worst Jewish songs of all time. But in fact I quite enjoy blazing distorted electric guitars and screaming vocals, especially if they are in Hebrew and talk about Satan.
No, the worst Jewish song of all time, at least at the time of this blog entry is Kloom Lo Atzuv by Eviatar Banai. This is an incredibly popular song from one of the kings of slow, melancholy Hebrew music, and I have met more then one girl who has claimed love for him and his music. This particular song is atypically bouncy, upbeat and almost annoying catchy. If you don’t know Hebrew fluently, you might even enjoy it. But the melody belies the lyrics. This is a song of tragedy, heartbreak and death. The chorus of "na na na" combined with the ultra-depressing lyrics makes this the most annoying song I have ever heard in my entire life. But in fact I quite enjoy his other songs, especially track 2, Beresheet and hopefully one day will interview him.
If you would like to add a song to the Worst Jewish Song of All Time list, please comment here. In the meantime please enjoy the cover of Arallu's The Demon from the Anicent World album which depicts a demon destroying the Dome of the Rock. I also present to you the cover of Eviatar Banai's poor-selling, low-fi, almost atonal album (except for the song Beresheet) which depicts Rabbi Avraham Yitzchak Kook on the cover.