Rabbi Aron Moss
Rabbi Aron Moss works to bring searching souls back to Judaism in Sydney, Australia.Question
Why is dating so hard these days? Never in history have people struggled with relationships so much. So many of my friends are still single and looking. And even my married friends seem to have to work hard to keep it together. What's wrong with us?
Answer
We are a generation of complicated souls. Some of it is our own doing, but some of it is the destiny thrust upon us. The knotty world of modern dating is partly a reflection of the complex nature of the modern soul. 
The kabbalists declared that almost all souls these days have been here before.
The kabbalists declared that almost all souls these days have been here before.
The search for a soul mate will be made easier or harder depending on what type of soul you have. The master kabbalist Rabbi Isaac Luria taught that only new souls have an easy time finding their soul mate. When your soul comes to this world for the first time, you are fresh and unencumbered. Your vision is clear and your heart is open, and it is easy to recognise your soul mate.
But for those souls who have been here before, reincarnated souls, it doesn't come so easily. Reincarnated souls come to the world with the baggage of their previous life, and though every soul is born pure, a reincarnated soul is born complicated.
So while a new soul will meet and recognise their soul mate immediately, an old soul will have to work harder. They may have to meet many others before they meet the right one. They may need to do a lot of growing and inner development before being ready to recognise their soul mate. There is a lot of stuff to get over first - like unrealistic expectations, over-specific requirements, exaggerated self-images, superficial hang-ups and the residue of relationships of the past. And even when soul mates do find each other, they will have to work hard to make things work.
The kabbalists declared that almost all souls these days have been here before. Very few new souls are coming down. So we can expect the search for soul mates to be more challenging now than ever. Our souls are carrying baggage - some we have inherited and some our own doing - and only by working through those layers do we remove the barriers that stand between our soul and our soul mate.
The best way to bring about meeting your soul mate is to be more in touch with your own soul. When your soul is pulsating with inspiration and clarity, when you are spiritually grounded and bringing goodness to your surroundings, then you are most prone to meeting your soul mate. It may take some effort, but that is your destiny.