It seems absolutely incredible that after four years of Palestinian terrorism there are still people foolish enough to consider talking with Yasser Arafat. Lo and behold, Foreign Minister Silvan Shalom recently came across two such individuals in the shape of his counterparts from Holland and Germany, Bernard Bot and Joschka Fisher. The two were quick to confess that while they are no fans of Yasser Arafat and his leadership (if that's what you want to call it), they still thought it was necessary to talk to him.



About what?



How about doors?



Yasser Arafat is an expert on doors. For instance, how many times has he stuck his grim head out of his front door to greet the world's media with rheumy eyes to condemn the latest Palestinian homicide bombing in Israel? As soon as the media have dispersed, Yasser Arafat turns his attention to his back door, where with twinkling eyes he greets his own people and faltering English is replaced by rapid fire Arabic screaming for Jihad and death to all Israelis.



How about swinging doors, to represent the Palestinian Authority's arrest policy? Known terrorists are rounded up and no sooner are the jokes and handshakes over than these evil ghouls are swinging back out through the other side.



How about travel?



Yasser Arafat has been a resident in quite a few countries over the years. Tunisia, Egypt, Jordan and Lebanon, for instance. Some of them did not last long. Maybe Mr. Arafat didn't find the countries to his liking. Maybe the ambience of the people or their particular culture didn't suit him. Perhaps the landscape didn't appeal to his aesthetic nature. It seems when things started working out badly for him, he just went on a killing spree and was ultimately banished for his unruly behaviour.



How about history?



Yasser Arafat was recently quoted as saying that Palestinians go back to the beginning of time. Mr. Arafat would in fact be hard put to come up with a single scrap of evidence to support any Palestinian civilization whatsoever, especially prior to the 1967 Arab-Israeli war. Maybe said European ministers would be convinced by a seemingly old piece of pottery in Mr. Arafat's artifacts, marked "Made in Palestine a million years ago", as proof of this very ancient culture. Evolution, it seems, has not been very kind to the Palestinians.



How about sport?



Yasser Arafat has quite a history in sport. How about the1972 Olympic games in Munich, Germany. Sadly, it was not for the Palestinian teams' prowess on the track or their skills on the parallel bars that they captured the hearts of the spectators. Mr. Arafat seemed to think that terrorism had become an event, but the consequent cold-blooded murder of 11 Israeli team members was hardly a performance worthy of a gold medal.



How about money?



Maybe Mr. Arafat could explain how it is that his plighted people, who have had more aid money than any other people in the world, recently had their poverty compared to that of the Sub-Saharan desert. One would certainly have to be a little curious as to how such a leader of such beleaguered people ended up being one of the richest men in the world. Maybe Mr. Arafat could explain in his own lilting way how expensive guns and mortar shells are never in short supply, yet most of the population lives in abject poverty, purposely kept in ignorance.



How about children?



Maybe Mr. Arafat would like to explain how Palestinian youngsters of 10 are often interviewed on TV with no other dreams for the future than becoming a martyr. Maybe he could give a speech on the benefits of one of the many summer camps used to brainwash children, by dressing them up in combat uniforms and teaching them how to kill. Maybe he would like to tell said ministers how children are often used by terrorists as decoys. How about kindergarten children that spend their days hand-painting in red to show the heroic deeds of their fathers in Ramallah; those who tore two Israelis limb from limb, tearing out their vital organs and then raising bloodied hands like cannibals?



How about celebrations?



No-one knows how to get an impromptu party under way like the Palestinians. How many times has Israel been scraping its dead off the interior of buses and restaurants, while the Palestinians have been setting of fireworks and throwing handfuls of sweets to their demonized children?



There are many topics you could discuss with Yasser Arafat.



How about the most elementary one of all? Four years ago he was offered a Palestinian state with 97% of his demands met, including the unthinkable of Jerusalem as his capital.



He turned it down.



Why does someone simply not ask him outright why he is supposedly fighting and causing so much bloodshed on both sides for something he was offered on a sliver platter four years ago?



I am sure we have all heard the expression "you might as well be talking to a brick wall". In fact, in this instance, gentleman, you will find talking to a wall - the one that Israel has now been forced to build after four years of relentless Palestinian terrorism - a damn sight more self-explanatory than talking to Yasser Arafat.