I could not believe what I saw late last night on the news bulletin on the Palestinian Authority television station. I rubbed my eyes to see better, but there it was, repeated by the newscaster; a tiny red ball of laser kept bouncing on the blackboard on the wall in the news room as he moved from one item to another in slow motion, explaining every numbered detail. All together, there were twelve itemized points. The title above the list, in black, bold letters, proclaimed: "PA Confidence-Building Concessions". I almost choked.



As 'confidence building moves' towards establishing peace with Israel, the following items will be implemented by the PA, as urged by the State Department and as demanded by President Bush:



1) The PA will immediately arrest the following terrorist leaders:

- a) Heads of Hamas;

- b) Heads of Islamic Jihad;

- c) Heads of Tanzim;

- d) Head of Fatah; and

- e) Heads of any other terror group that took active part in the Oslo War.



2) The PA will immediately extradite the arrested to the United States to stand trial for crimes against humanity;



3) The PA, in a confidence building move, will immediately confiscate all weapons of any kind and hand them over to the CIA operatives present in Gaza;



4) The PA will issue an ultimatum for all terrorist cells in any PA territory to cease and desist immediately. Those cells refusing will be forcibly dismantled;



5) The PA will immediately confiscate all school textbooks in which incitement against Israel is printed. These books will all be handed to the CIA monitors in Gaza, who will burn them in the Gaza main square;



6) The PA will immediately dismantle and destroy all buildings that were built on Jewish lands confiscated in 1948;



7) The PA will immediately dislodge all those Arabs living in former Jewish homes in the following cities: Hevron, Bethlehem, Shchem, East Jerusalem, Galil, Jaffa, Acco (Israel will oblige with the last four cities by doing the job herself) and other cities and towns (the names of all of the other Arab areas in Israel proper appear in amendment #3445 of the Road Map);



8) The PA will immediately transfer $500 million to Israel as partial reimbursement for damage caused by terrorist action since 2000;



9) The PA will immediately negate its charter calling for the destruction of Israel;



10) The PA will immediately implement a compensation program to repay all those Israelis who sustained physical and emotional damages. Special funds will be set up (under CIA supervision) for the thousands of Israeli orphans;



11) Once the above are implemented, Israel will consider its' reciprocal moves.



There were three or four more items requiring the immediate compliance by the PA in order for the 'peace process' to get the momentum it needs. The news reporter, however, seemed to be extremely agitated and turned off the laser pointer. The camera zoomed in and I was able to read the last two 'demands'; I then understood the agitation that item #12 caused.



12) The immediate arrest and extradition of the arch-terrorist, Chairman-President-General, European royalty, Yasser Arafat, must be effected immediately. Should the PA refuse to do so, the Quartet will deem the 'search for peace' as null and void and Israel will be allowed to do whatever it deems necessary to eradicate the vermin, otherwise known as the PA.



What an excellent set of 'confidence building concessions', I thought, as the TV screen suddenly went black. I yawned as I rubbed my sleepy eyes. I must have fallen asleep and dreamed; no normal human being would ever think up such absurdity.

--------------------------------------------------------

Isaac Kohn writes from Brooklyn, New York. He can be reached at [email protected].