Every year we are granted an amazing gift from Hashem, an opportunity to stop our busy lives and take time out. This is what the month of Elul and the Yamim Noraim (high holidays) are all about. Throughout this period we are constantly being reminded to do Teshuva and repent from our incorrect ways. In essence this is exactly the function of the shofar during the month of Elul and on Rosh Hashana. It is our daily reminder during this period - just like we have important reminders on our smartphones, the shofar serves to wake us up to the need to better ourselves.
The Rambam in Hilchot Teshuva (chapter 1 halacha 1) elaborates that the true essence of repentance is contained in the viduy (confession). We are required to verbalize and admit our wrongdoings, say we are sorry for them, and commit not to repeat them. Why does the Rambam place such great emphasis on confession and why is it so important to express it aloud? Why can’t we simply ponder the matter and commit in our hearts that we will make a change?
I can still vividly recall the day I received my learners driving license. I was practicing driving my mom’s car in the driveway when suddenly I scraped the side of a pole creating a huge dent in the front body of the car. I remember the fear and anguish I felt in trying to hide the accident from my parents until I could not bear it anymore. I confronted my parents and told them the story and by doing so, I was overcome with an incredible feeling of relief.
It was an intense realization that in life we often keep our fears and frustrations boiled up inside of us, but if we would just express them, then we would feel so much better. I believe that this is the feeling we should have when we say our viduy. It is important to verbalize our transgressions and get them off our chests. It is vital not to leave them as thoughts in our minds but by expressing them we make them a reality. Doing this is the first step in the process of change.
On Yom Kippur during our prayers we have the ability to experience this amazing journey of self examination. When we reach the viduy towards the end of the Amida it should not merely be an exercise of ‘clupping’ our chests and getting through the service as quickly as possible. Rather, ideally it should be a slow process of verbally working through our weaknesses and deficiencies while committing to the necessary changes that need to be made in order for us to better our lives.
This is the reason that it is not sufficient just to think it in our hearts as this is not considered actually dealing with the issues. When we talk through our sins with both ourselves and the Almighty, we will, b’ezrat Hashem, with G-d's help, feel that sense of relief and comfort and have the strength to return to the path on which we were meant to be.
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