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Op-Ed: Rabbi Guido Sarducci's 5-Minute 'West Bank' University

Everything you need to remember about the dangers of a Palestinian "demilitarized" state that you'll remember 5 years from now.
Published: Sunday, May 19, 2013 7:22 AM


In 1987, Father Guido Sarducci was a well-known comical fictional chain-smoking priest with tinted eyeglasses who appeared on TV and invented the "5-Minute University.".

For $20, Father Sarducci would teach you everything you would remember from college 5 years after having left college. So, for instance, for economics he taught "supply and demand”; business - "buy low, sell high"; French- Voulez vous coucher avec moi ce soir?" Then, you take a quick sip of orange juice for spring break. And, so on. Very, very funny.

In 2013, Rabbi Guido Sarducci is a tragicomical, fictional non-smoking rabbi with wire rim glasses who has exposed the "Two-State Solution" as a hoax. For bupkis, he will teach you everything you need to remember about the dangers of a Palestinian "demilitarized" State that you'll remember 5 years from now. Here is the lesson.

First, just remember 400 million Middle Eastern Muslims will annihilate 11 million Greeks. Why? Because, the only non-Muslim country between the 400 million Middle Eastern Muslims (with 65% of the world’s oil) and the 11 million Greeks (who are bankrupt) is Israel. So, it's either NATO enables Israel to keep the 'West Bank' so Israel is able to fight the Muslims in Israel, or NATO will be fighting Muslims in Greece and defending Greece.

Second, no Israeli 'settlements' mean no Tel Aviv water. About 900 million cubic meters of water flow in various directions from the mountains of Judea and Samaria to pre-1967 Israel, or rely critically on the area's water flow. Judea and Samaira's mountain aquifer water flows westward to the Sharon Plain (370 cu. m.), Northward to the Beit She'an Valley( 250M cu. m.), or south-eastward to the Dead Sea (about 150M cu. m). Without the westward vectoring water from Judea and Samaria, the coastal aquifer would be destroyed from salt water intrusion (320 cu. m). W

ater desalination only takes care of 20-25% (400 cu. m.) of Israel's annual use of about 1,500 million cubic meters of water (excluding the additional 600 cu. m. of effluent and brackish water.) So, without this water, Israel is up a creek, without a creek.

Third, Katyusha rockets placed in a "Palestinian state" can carry Sarin poison gas(GB). If the Syrian Muslims easily murdered Syrian Muslims with Sarin gas shells, Palestinian  Arabs will have no comppunctions about murdering Israeli Jews with sarin gas Katyushas. So, if the peace crazies create a 'Palestinian state', you can bank on Sarin Katyusha rocket barrages into Tel Aviv. The newest yet-to-be-deployed, yet-to-be-battle-tested lasers only have a range of at most 2 miles. This puts them into easy anti-tank missile range. The anti-rocket lasers and their testing only proves a "demilitarized Palestinian state" in Judea and Samaria will have the same rockets rockets Gaza has, but worse.

And as the "moderate" Jibril Rajoub just said, he "would have used an atomic bomb against Israel from the West Bank if I had one." If the "moderate" Rajoub is publicly promising he would use an atomic bomb on Israel, Hamas is secretly planning to use sarin Katyushas. And, of course, Obama will need a beyond reasonable doubt "chain of custody" to show a Palestinian Arab actually fired the rocket with sarin while Jews lie asphyxiated and murdered.

Fourth, the leftists are really fighting for "2 million West Bank Palestinians today, 4 million West Bank Palestinians tomorrow." For, if the leftists give the Palestinians a state, in Judea and Samaira Abbas and company will also get the immigration control over the their Palestinian Arab "refugees" to immediately move them into the new State.

Man, if the lefties think they have a Palestinian Arab demographic problem today, just wait till Iran imports multitudes of Iranian volunteer al Quds pioneers into their new state - tomorrow!

Lastly, as Golda Meir once said, "By the time you get here, we won't be here." American Jews are "peace process" lemmings. 75% of them have never traveled to Israel even once, but somehow, 85% of them have very strong, nay, passionate feelings about forcing Israeli Jews into into Auschwitz "peace" borders. Fact: 99.9% of the American Jews who support a Palestinian 'West Bank' state have no, I repeat, no ----ing idea what they are actually supporting.

While, Oslo may be a "suicide" process for Israelis, it's a "homicide" process for rich American Jews who think they are more moral than the Israeli Jews because they live on Park Avenue, and collect fancy expensive art. Just ignore them.

My 5 minutes are up. Don't forget, there are many American Jews who truly love Israel and Israeli Jews. We will prevail.  Watch Guido!

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