Dear G-d,
I am not sure that I believe in You but I have decided to give You the benefit of the doubt. (I know You feel like saying, “Big deal!” but please do it away from my hearing.)
So, on the basis that You do actually exist and are all that they say You are, this is my spiritual shopping list for the year ahead.
Life for another twelve months – there may be another life after this one, and it may even be rather heavenly, but all things considered I prefer to stay around on earth for the time being.
Life for my wife/husband and family too – we want to enjoy each other for a bit longer. We also want to see what happens with our children and grandchildren and to know that our hopes for them have more or less come true.
Money to live in comfort – I know the world economy is still not certain of itself, and I am financially down compared to a few years ago, but I couldn’t go back to those years when I didn’t know how I was going to pay the butcher’s bill.
It would help if You could do something to make the government more sensible and sound-thinking and stop the United Nations from giving Israel a bad time so often.
Talking of Israel, I’d like to see things settle down there – and please knock some sense into those rabbis’ heads.
What’s that that You’re saying – “How about you doing something yourself to help the community?”... all right, maybe You’ve got a point.
But don’t start giving me advice about praying a bit more often – I have made an exception for You today and that’s probably enough till next year.
Do we understand each other? I guess so – and G-d, do have a good year and look after Yourself.
WHAT G-D DO WE NEED?
Very few people feel so self-sufficient that they can manage without a father image. Our Biblical ancestor Joseph learnt this at a moment of crisis when he faced a life-changing decision. He looked up and saw the image of his father, the patriarch Jacob.
Like Joseph. we are sometimes desperate for guidance and wisdom. We yearn for a hand to hold onto. We are bereft, alone and afraid. Adon Olam echoes in the background of our thoughts: B’yado afkid ruchi, “Into His hand I commit my spirit”. We need that supportive hand.
Could it be just any hand? How can we know it is G-d we need if we have childish images of Him that seem so obsolete and frighten us because with them comes a price? The G-d we need could conceivably be an abstract idea but we are better off with a G-d of whom we have some experience, a G-d who has a track record of redemption, salvation and support.
Does He come with a price tag? Probably. It’s only fair that if we want something from Him, He wants something from us.
BEFORE WE PRAY
The Rebbe of Tzantz was asked by a disciple, “What does the Rebbe do before starting his prayers?” The Rebbe said, “I pray that I may be able to pray...”
Surely we can all learn from this Rebbe. We should always pray to be able to pray. There are a number of ways to achieve it. In the Mishnah B’rachot we are told that the pious men of old meditated for an hour before their prayers. They sat quietly and tuned in. Their actual prayers waited until they were ready for them.
The same source tells us that people whose prayer came fluently from their mouths knew that they had prayed successfully. Their inner compass told them that they were in the right direction.
These and other items of advice from the sages are far more important than rushing into the synagogue, finding the place and pretending to participate in the service. We tend to ask the wrong question when we decide what shul to attend on the High Holydays.
We ask, “When will the service end?”, when we should be asking, “When will the prayers (i.e. our own personal praying) begin?” The answer cannot possibly be, “The moment we enter the building”.
It takes time for us to pray to be able to pray...