In Israel, 35% of the population volunteers. And a very large per cent of Israelis endanger their lives to protect the country and its citizens. Those citizens are returnining the chesed now as they rush to give soldiers delicious foods, treats, clothing and more. And this is how it can translate into everyday life:
“Are you serious?”
This was the reaction of the six-foot-two man checking in beside me at the EL AL counter in JFK airport when I offered him my premium-plus seat on our upcoming flight to Tel Aviv in exchange for his regular coach seat.
He had just pleaded with the clerk that because of his long legs there was no way he could spend the eleven-hour flight crammed into the window seat he had been assigned and that she had to find him some solution.
“I’m sorry sir, there are no more aisle seats available!”
It was then that I looked down at my ticket and realized I was the lucky owner of a [coveted?] aisle seat, and although it was in a higher class I had the opportunity to bring this man untold happiness and much relief!
“Aren’t you raising the bar a bit too high?” a friend asked me recently when I shared this story of how I had given up my seat. Ordinarily, I would have agreed. Expecting people to give up their own comfort to benefit others is not the norm. But at the time, I was living by a different norm. Having just spent weeks researching the subject of chesed for Torah Live’s upcoming film, “Live to Give,” my head was swirling with the inspirational levels of our forefathers and foremothers who were prepared to go through levels of mesiras nefesh many, many times above my teenie token of self-sacrifice.
Think about Avraham Avinu and how he went searching outside for guests on the third day of his mila, despite his excruciating pain, because he was bursting inside with a desire to give.
Think about how Avraham beseeched Hashem to spare Sodom even though their selfishness was the antithesis of everything he lived for. And yet, he cared so much for other human beings - rashaim as they were! - that it pained him to the extent he put himself out, begging Hashem to have compassion on them.
Think about how he moved homes after the destruction of Sodom because the hachnosas orchim business just wasn’t the same anymore. We all have guests over for Shabbos lunch, why not? It’s fun. But could you imagine a husband saying to his wife, “Honey, you know, I think if we moved to such and such a city we’d really be able to do the mitzvah of hachnosas orchim so much better. Come, I’ll help you pack our bags.” I mean, it is ludicrous.
Think about Rochel Imeinu and how she gave over the secret signs to Leah, her sister, effectively causing herself to have to share her husband with another woman for the rest of her life, because she cared so much about someone else and their feelings.
Yes, it may not be the norm in today’s world to give up one’s creature comforts for others. But we need to ask ourselves where are we drawing our “norms” from? Is it the self-absorbed society we are surrounded by, where messages of what-is-in-it-for-me bombard us consciously and sub-consciously and is the mindset that guides decision making? Or is it our ancestors who literally lived to give others? Chazal encourage us to aspire to the level of our foreparents, telling us each to ask ourselves when we will reach their level: כל אחד ואחד מישראל חייב לומר מתי יגיעו מעשי למעשה אבותי (Tanna Dbei Eliyahu)
I am not talking about doing a chesed here or there. Holding the door open for the next person, or telling someone the time. Everyone (almost!) does that. I mean emulating our Avos and Imahos who were fanatics for chesed, who were moser nefesh for giving. I'm talking about becoming ambassadors for chesed, people who live and breathe to help and care for others, people who ooze Ahavas Yisrael.
The conflict that went on in Israel for the last year was painfully ripping apart Jews – whose different dress and religious practices make it all too easy to forget that we are deep down all descendants from the same grandparents - Avraham and Sara - we have to go to the other extreme and increase ahavas chinam. If sinah is not caring less about another person’s existence, ahava is relating to his wishes, wanting him to succeed, to have what you have, and enjoy the same happiness you have, the same wealth and success you have (Ramban on ואהבת לרעך כמוך.
“Olam Chesed Yiboneh - Hashem created the world to give.” The act of creation itself was a pure act of giving. Hashem created existence out of His desire to bestow kindness onto others and give man the pleasure of enjoying a connection to Him (Retzono le’heitiv). When we give others we not only benefit others, fulfilling a mitzvah bein adam lecheviro - between man and man - we also connect more deeply to Hashem in whose image we were created, thus fulfilling a mitzvah bein adam laMakom - between man and G-d.
Each of us is created in the image of Hashem. We are a חלק אלוק ממעל, we have some spark of Hashem inside of us, so to speak. And Hashem is the Ultimate Giver. Consider: Why did Hashem create the world? He wasn’t lacking anything. He is Infinite! The reason He created us was purely to give. Our purpose in life is to become like Hashem. That’s why it is so incredibly satisfying when you give. Nothing compares - not even remotely - to the deep pleasure of sharing and helping others. It touches you inside on a level that nothing else comes close. Why? Because your neshama is connecting with the core of its existence, the חלק אלוק ממעל.
Let us endeavor to spend a couple of minutes every day to think about how we can enhance the lives of those around us and bring them more joy.
In the merit of Avraham Avinu, the original revolutionary of chesed - we can change the world and bring the Geula, which we are told will happen in the zechus of chesed.
Rabbi Dan Roth is the founder of Torah Live and author of “Relevance: Pirkei Avos for the Twenty First Century.” The new film “Live to Give” is launching an episode-a-week over the coming weeks at www.Torahlive.com.