Translation by Yehoshua Siskin
Faith in our children is a source of power
1. The secret power of faith in our children is revealed in this past week's Torah portion: Even after Ya'akov Avinu sees Yosef's coat of many colors soaked in blood, he continues to believe that Yosef is alive, and expects that everything will turn out well. "And all his sons and daughters rose to console him, but he refused to be consoled." Ya'akov refuses to give up on Yosef. He believes in him. He knows that Yosef has a special mission.
Similarly, when Yosef is in Egypt far from his father, he succeeds in resisting the advances of Potiphar's wife. How is this expressed? "And he refused" (to be seduced). Yosef could have used many excuses to give into temptation and abandon the values he learned at home. His brothers threw him into a pit, he was sold into slavery in Egypt, he had every right to feel completely abandoned. But when a father believes in his son, his son believes in himself. When a father does not give up on his son, the son does not give up. Ya'akov and Yosef are physically distant, but their souls are close.
The unusual word "vayema'ein" (and he refused) reappears a thousand years later in the book of Jeremiah regarding destruction of the First Temple. "A voice is heard on high, lamentation, bitter weeping, Rachel weeping for her children, refusing to be consoled for her children who are gone." Rachel is praying here for all of the children of her people as they go into exile, for all of us, for the nation of Israel. That we should not get lost, that we should someday return. And that we should refuse all temptation. When a mother does not give up on her children, they will surely return home. As we also read in Jeremiah: "And your children will return to their border."
So how is it possible to believe that your boy is alive even when his coat of many colors is full of blood? How is it possible to refuse the advances of Potiphar's wife? How is it possible to believe that the children will return when the land is empty and desolate? The secret is faith in our children.
May we always have faith in our children, in ourselves, and in our nation.
2. The message below can help. Take things easier, try to lighten the load:
I was not even supposed to be there -- in the auditorium where Hadas Levenstern lectured before hundreds of women. I had already finished my presentation early in the evening. But I began to listen to Hadas and stayed glued to my chair. Here are two ideas of hers that have accompanied me since:
"Who among you does Pilates?" she asked. "In Pilates, the focus is on moves that engage large muscle groups, if not the entire body, and are generally easy to perform. But the small, delicate Pilates moves are much more difficult, even though they are barely felt. What is true in Pilates is true where inner change is concerned as well. It is comparatively easy to make revolutions with bulldozers as compared to making small changes with a tweezers.
I did teshuva years ago but it was easier to make the move to suddenly quit eating cheeseburgers than to improve my character traits, a process that requires small, yet much more challenging moves than swearing off non-kosher food.
Hadas continued with another important message. "Today there is a tendency to take upon ourselves more and more, to fill up our daily calendars with little room to breathe. I am trying to do teshuva on this sort of perfectionism. Women always ask, 'What can I add to my routine?' and I say 'Don't add, take away. Do less.' Gather strength from taking away two tasks from your daily routine. Sometimes the best resolution we can take upon ourselves is to do less.
Everyone is invited to resolve to make small, if challenging, changes in life, and to lighten the load that they carry.
3. Tonight, for example: LIght the candles, say the blessings, and just look at them for at least half an hour.
I met someone this week who has not lit a Hanukkah menorah since he was in kindergarten class. Subsequently, many years passed but he decided to light a menorah again this year in the rented apartment where he lives.
With great emotion, he has been practicing the blessings that are recited before lighting. They are probably familiar to most of us, but perhaps it would be beneficial to recall the text of these blessings and their significance.
"Blessed are You, Lord our God, King of the universe, who has sanctified us with His commandments, and commanded us to kindle the Hanukkah light." Lighting the candles or lamps of oil is a mitzvah. It's not just a pleasant custom or part of Jewish folklore. It's not like eating jelly donuts or spinning a dreidel. It's a blessing that we are obligated to recite.
"Blessed are You, Lord our God, King of the universe, who performed miracles for our forefathers in those days, at this time." When lighting the menorah, we are reminded of the Hanukkah miracles that occurred at this time of year two thousand years ago. By extension, we are enjoined to remind ourselves of the many miracles present in our own lives today, at this very moment, and to give thanks for them.
"Blessed are You, Lord our God, King of the universe, who has granted us life, sustained us, and enabled us to reach this occasion." This special third blessing is recited on the first night of Hanukkah alone. Being alive should not be taken for granted, and the privilege of commemorating the lighting of the menorah in the Holy Temple after defeat of the Greeks should not be taken for granted either. Ultimately, it might also be said that lighting the menorah is a celebration of the capacity of each of us to bring just a little more light into the world.
Wishing for myself and for all of us a lighting of the menorah this evening that will be filled with gratitude and heartfelt emotion. Happy Hanukkah.