Translation by Yehoshua Siskin (http://inthelandoftheJew.blogspot.com)
1. Finding the time for a a cup of tea with one's wife every day: putting limits on workaholism
In reaction to a virtual Mitchadshot (Women's Renewal) workshop held recently that featured *Na'ama Avishai*, it was interesting to note how many women wrote to me via chat wondering if I had listened well to her message. Na'ama is a Chabad emissary in Kaluga, Russia. Among her many tips, she emphasized the importance of establishing a set of priorities:
"People think that Chabad emissaries live with total dedication to their communities. This is not accurate. They live in total dedication to their children and families and only then engage in community work. This is an important distinction for every one of us to make, no matter what we are doing, no matter where we are.
It's impossible to be actively initiating, organizing, and promoting all day long every day. We must allow ourselves moments when we simply say 'stop'. In our family, for example, we make sure to celebrate each child's birthday alone at home and we occasionally enjoy Shabbat meals by ourselves exclusively. It's not right to just give and give, and then by the end of the day feel like a dishrag, collapsing on the sofa.
After the major holidays - Hanukkah, Pesach, and Sukkot - for which we work day and night on behalf of the Jews of our city, we take a two-day vacation trip to Moscow with the children.
The Lubavitcher Rebbe made it a daily habit to sit with his wife and drink a cup of tea. He said that this was a holy commitment and he would no more give it up than he would give up putting on tefillin.
Quality time is not only meant for family but also for ourselves personally. I sometimes decide to go out on my own for an hour and make no excuses for doing so. If we know how to give to the entire world, we also need to know how to give to ourselves."
Thanks to Naama for this important reminder, especially when the famous blessing given to the Nation of Israel appears in the weekly Torah portion. It is a blessing that has symbolized the importance of the tent, the home, in the life of our people for thousands of years: *"How lovely are your tents, O Jacob, your dwelling places, O Israel."*
May it be Thy will that this blessing shall prevail in each and every one of our tents.
2. Finding the time to answer every letter: a new story about Naomi Shemer
This week was the anniversary of the passing of one of Israel's most well-known songwriters, *Naomi Shemer*. 18 years have passed since the woman who wrote "Yerushalayim shel Zahav" (Jerusalem of Gold), "Lu Yehi" (If Only), "Lo Tinatzchu Oti" (You Will Not Defeat Me), and many other memorable songs passed away. I spoke to her son, *Ariel Horowitz*, and asked him if there was a story that had not yet been published about his mother. He was immediately reminded of the story below:
"My mother felt compelled to answer every letter sent to her, and she received quite a lot of them. These were the days before email when you had to sit with paper and pen and actually write. Furthermore, she was not just some celebrity cut off from the public; the opposite was true.
I remember there was a mother who was sitting shiva over the passing of her son who fell while serving in the IDF. He was not the first son of hers to have given his life for his country. Mother took a sheet of paper and wrote at the top of the page 'I have no words' and, at the bottom, signed her name, 'Naomi Shemer.'
In the hospital two days before her death, mother suddenly said to me: 'Ariel, there is a problem.' I asked what the problem was and she said: 'I received a letter from fourth graders and I cannot respond. I ask that you locate their teacher, contact her, and request that she tell the children that I apologize, that I am very ill and therefore cannot answer them. I also ask that they not send wishes for my recovery, because I will not be able to answer those messages either. Tell them that if they bless me in their hearts, I will feel those blessings in mine.'"
I asked Horowitz, a singer and composer himself, what it was like to grow up in the shadow of such a prominent songwriter. Correcting me, he said: "I did not grow up in her shadow. I grew up in her light."
3. And a lesson about dealing with the passing of time: Nussbaum's scoop
When do we retire? I read a fascinating discussion recently about when the Levites who sang in the Holy Temple ceased to participate in the Divine service that was held there each day. According to some commentators, it was their voice rather than their age that determined when they retired. They could continue to sing in the Holy Temple choir as long as their voice was good. But even when their voice was not good enough to sing perfectly, the nation continued to enjoy their talents even as they transitioned to other activities (as musicians, teachers and doorkeepers at the Holy Temple gates).
And from the holy to the mundane: Our commentators learned from this that regarding every area of human endeavor, it is incumbent upon a nation to fully utilize the talents of all its members, regardless of their age.
*Moshe Nusbaum*, 68 years old, a veteran journalist and police reporter, has been speaking more slowly lately. This week he shared that he suffers from ALS, a degenerative nerve disease. He will continue to broadcast, but in a lower gear. Among the thousands of his reports, this was perhaps the most significant and stunning scoop in the career of Nussi (yes, this is what he is called among us journalists): teaching us that even in an era that's all about appearances and ratings, it's possible to acquire a little patience and provide space on the television screen to someone who is coping valiantly with a gradual loss of speech. The world does not only belong to the young, but also to the experienced veterans.
And the answer to the question I am now repeatedly asked is "Sarah." For the purpose of prayers recited on his behalf, his name is Moshe ben Sarah. Refuah Shlema.