Ex Shin Bet Head: I considered killing myself

Former security chief describes the depression he experienced following the assassination of Yitzhak Rabin.

Uzi Baruch ,

Carmi Gillon
Carmi Gillon
Arutz Sheva

The head of the Shin Bet at the time of Yitzhak Rabin's murder, Carmi Gillon, admitted in an interview to Channel 10's "Intimate" program that he had considered committing suicide following the assassination of Yitzhak Rabin and the failure of the Shin Bet security service.

"On a personal level, I wanted to quit everything, I went around with a mark of Cain on my forehead, I could not bear the distress. Everyone looked at me - as the man responsible for the Rabin assassination. On the other hand you have responsibility for your nuclear family, a wife and three girls, one of them only six years old.”

Gilon also said, "I did not share my suicidal thoughts with my wife, but it shocks me more that it took them years to tell what they went through because they did not want to share with me, and protected me. They went through tough times at school.”

Gilon refused to reveal how he planned to end his life. "I thought about how to do it, a gun was out of the question even though it was the most available at home, but I did not want fingerprints and I thought about the family. I suggest that I don’t provide details so as not to give people ideas.”

He said that he was very disappointed with his friends who abandoned him after Rabin's murder: "My good friends are gone. I was personally disappointed with Yaakov Peri [who headed the Shin Bet before Gillon], who said in the media that I should resign. It was said behind my back... That was after I had resigned. Pick up your phone, your successor needs your help, but he had disappeared. "

At the time of the Rabin assassination, on Saturday night, Gillon was in Paris and received the news from his office manager on the way to the airport: "I did not recover from Rabin's murder and I can not recover. I can not explain the colossal failure. To this day, I can not understand how Yigal Amir could shoot three shots. I was educated as a security guard that it is reasonable to believe that the attacker could fire a first bullet, but woe if he shoots a second bullet. "

In the interview, he regretted that he did not go to psychological treatment after Rabin's assassination, but received medical treatments that gave him prescriptions for pills to treat his mental state.