'I Confess: I Played Katy Perry's Music in Gaza'

Satirical Facebook page mocks the accounts of 'immoral' Gaza war reported by 'Breaking the Silence' with hilarious fake confessions.

Gil Ronen ,

Katy Perry
Katy Perry

The latest report by ultraleftist NGO “Breaking the Silence” contains the alleged testimony of soldiers who served in Gaza, and who describe what they thought was immoral IDF activity during Operation Protective Edge in Gaza last summer. The report was gobbled up by news media abroad for its Israel-bashing value, although it does not describe anything that constitutes a war crime.

Leftist MKs read out portions of the report in the plenum, causing pandemonium.

While many Israelis reacted to the report with anger and accusations of backstabbing, some decided to vent their frustration through satire. And thus, the Facebook page “1000 Times More 'Breaking the Silence'” was born.

The page displays mock statuses of soldiers who express their remorse over “atrocities” they perpetrated. Here is a sampling:

"Once, at a checkpoint, I let a pregnant Palestinian woman cut past the line. In the end, it turned out she was just fat. She was so insulted.”

"We were lying in ambush when suddenly, a boy approached us, wearing an explosive vest. We convinced him to take it off and promised we'd give him a Messi shirt. We had a different shirt, but we fooled him and he didn't even know.”

"Once, during reserve duty at Etzion, I served black coffee to two Palestinian workers. I now think, with regret, that perhaps they couldn't sleep that night.”

"Once, I had a bottle of Coke and I didn't throw it at the roadside – thus preventing a Palestinian from exercising his right to a fire bomb.”

"I feel shame because of all the people getting run over, wounded and murdered in the car terror attacks that are taking place. A person takes action to liberate his land from the horrible occupation, and in return we break their windshields with flying bodies and destroy their cars' chassis when they crash into the bus stop. We've learned nothing from the Holocaust.”

"I'll never forget the din that greeted us when we entered Ras al-Hirtutya at night. A terrible noise of air conditioners that the natives turned on because in run-down places like Hirtutya, it is hot as hell, even at night. In every room, every corner and shoddy alley – a screaming air conditioner. This noise caused me to lose my sense of humanity for a moment and in the first house where we took shelter, I broke down. I took out my mobile Bluetooth speaker from my pouch and and played [music by pop star] Katy Perry at full volume. Yes, Katy Perry, in a civilian home at Ras al-Hirtutya. I don't know where that demon entered me from. The evil. That was the second at which I no longer recognized myself. The second I realized that I would never be the same person. Nothing will cleanse me.”

"When I was at a roadblock in Hevron, I stopped a private car with two small girls. In the car's baggage trunk were two guns and ten cartridges. To this day, I find it hard to get over the damage I caused that family when I scratched their car as I removed the ammunition from the trunk. One of the guns scratched the hood of the trunk.”

It remains to be seen if someone will file the faux atrocity reports to the International Criminal Court...