I thought I'd have more time. Time to adjust to being the mother of a soldier in training; time to adjust to being a mother of a soldier on patrol; time to adjust slowly to the inevitable unknown. This week, we celebrated Elie's father's 50th birthday - another great milestone in a man's life, in a father's life.

Elie called at 4:00 a.m. to tell me they'd been put on alert.



Elie had already gotten permission to come home a few hours early and so we settled on a plan to have the whole family together for dinner. I got a text message from Elie last night at midnight telling me he'd be on a bus at 6:00 a.m. and home by 11:00 a.m. Time to rest, relax, sleep a little and be refreshed for dinner.


Elie called at 4:00 a.m. to tell me they'd been put on alert. Clearly something had happened, but I didn't know what. Later, I would understand that he was calling me because he wasn't sure if he'd have a chance to call before he was to have caught the bus home and didn't want me to worry. But that was much later. For the rest of the night, I waited, worried, thought about what was happening. I checked the news.... Nothing.


It's the whole country, Elie had told me. I wondered what was happening in Gaza and why that should effect Elie.


By the morning, it was clear that Elie couldn't leave the base, but the reason still wasn't clear. Around 11:00 a.m., Elie was told he could come home, but he called me to say there were no buses.


"I'll come get you," I told him. It's a two-hour drive, but the need to see him, to feel him safe, was strong enough that I didn't care.


"One of the guys has to get to Eilat. He asked if you could drop him in Tiberias," Elie asked. "He'll fly from there."


"No problem," I said as I looked around for a map.


"The other guys asked if you could bring them some snacks. And some cola," Elie added. "Not diet."


That was probably the first smile I'd had all day. "No problem." I loaded bags filled with Bamba, the national favorite snack, and added some chocolate, some drinks, and more. Map in hand...


The phone rang.


"They shut it down again. I can't come," Elie told me.


I spoke to him on and off, each time wondering what was happening, where. Around 4:00 p.m. Israel time, the story broke. The Syrians are claiming that an Israeli aircraft flew over their territory. "We warn the Israeli enemy government against this flagrant aggressive act, and retain the right to respond in an appropriate way," the Syrian spokesman said.


The gist of Elie's response to that claim can be summed up as a denial. It's not true, he said. The Syrians are making that up because they have a reason. It won't have happened by accident, it seems all agree.


Did Israel fly over? Did the Syrians make the whole story up in order to increase

All possibilities leave a mother panicked beyond words.

tensions? All possibilities leave a mother panicked beyond words. Elie is calm. His unit is ready. Their vehicles are there, armed and ready, if needed. There are bunkers nearby; secure areas. Radar, satellites. Nothing comforts right now.


I thought I'd have more time to come to terms with this. I couldn't get back to sleep after Elie called last night. "I told you now to worry," Elie scolded me this morning. At another time, I would laugh. How silly for a boy to think he can command his mother not to worry. It is yet another small sign that deep in the man remains the boy.


Syria will do what it wants to do. The political scientist in me (Barnard College, class of 1982) tells me that nations act according to their interest, and it is in Syria's interest to keep the Middle East in the news. Peace does not serve their purpose; compromise is not in their vocabulary. Any peace without a full Israeli withdrawal from the Golan will be seen as a defeat for Bashar Assad and so there can be no peace with Syria. If US efforts in November to bring about a peace agreement between the Israelis and the Palestinians are successful (something very few people believe is even a slight possibility), that success would leave the Syrians on their own. They have a vested interest in seeing that those talks don't succeed, and that might even mean going to war.


In 1948, Syria attacked Israel. In 1956, Syria attacked Israel. In 1967, Syria, in conjunction with Egypt, was preparing to attack; and in 1973, Syria again attacked. The Golan Heights is the only thing that stands between Syria and almost 1 million Israelis. The Golan Heights is there as a physical barrier. Whoever commands the heights, has the ability to secure, or destroy, much of northern Israel. The Golan Heights protects those vulnerable valleys, just as Elie's unit and the other soldiers who are up there protect the Golan Heights.


What I have learned today is that life in the army is full of unknowns. Not much different than other aspects of life and yet, more frightening and frustrating at times. Elie was to come home for the upcoming holiday of Rosh Hashanah, the Jewish New Year. Now it appears that they won't be able to release him. He was to have come home today, but is still in the north tonight as the sun is setting. Tomorrow he might be able to get here, we still don't know.


And through all those unknowns is the deepest unknown of all: What will Syria do, and where will my son be when they take whatever actions they will? The lump that has been inside of me since Elie entered the army seems so much larger tonight that it almost blocks my ability to breathe.


As always, I can see today's events from many sides. The Israeli in me refuses to be intimidated. I don't know what happened that night. It could have been an intentional

Through all those unknowns is the deepest unknown of all.

incursion by the Israeli air force, but for what purpose? We can see all that there is to see by means of our satellites. Sending in a few planes at midnight is absurd, unnecessary and unlikely. The Syrians are unlikely to have actually seen anything, and since they claim that the plane flew over an uninhabited area and did no damage, who then was there to say the plane "dropped ammunition." No, I would never credit the Syrians with actually telling the truth.


It could have been an accidental crossing over a dark border late at night. Unlikely, given the sophistication of the Israeli air force, but possible.


It could have been, and likely was, a fabrication of the Syrian side. And so, we are back to the same question: For what purpose? Here, the answer can be an attempt to destroy, in advance, any chances the US plan had for success. It could be many things.


For me, I have to find comfort, from day to day and moment to moment. At this moment, my son is safe. Closer to danger than I would like him to be, but safe. May he and the protectors of Israel have a safe and quiet night and may they each have the chance to be with their families soon.