12 "Bold" Predictions for 2012
12 "Bold" Predictions for 2012

The problem with prognosticators is that they tend to shy away from ‘safe bets’. They’ll predict which dictator will be the next to get overthrown (Assad, anyone?) or which famous couple will split up (who had Demi & Ashton in the office betting pool?), but they won’t venture a guess on everyday things that everyone knows will happen. There is simply no challenge in that.

But my instincts are different. Maybe it’s from years of my parents warning me, ‘Don’t take chances!’ every time I set out somewhere, even if it was to the corner grocery store. So, I offer you a dozen predictions for the new year, 2012. You may not get great odds in Las Vegas with these predictions, but you’ll surely break even - at least.

1. Nobel? Nope: After Dan Shechtman of the Technion won the Nobel Prize for Chemistry this year, two years after Ada Yonath won the same prize in 2009, it’s time for a break. Sorry Israelis, no trip to Stockholm this year, but don’t worry, 2013 is still wide open.

2. Close, but No Cigar: The Maccabi Tel Aviv Basketball team will make it to the Euroleague Final Four, and maybe even to the championship game, but will lose in the end. Angry fans will once again call for the firing of amicable coach David Blatt and demand the return of the volatile Pini Gershon. 

3. Back of the Bus: A female friend of yours from abroad will travel to Jerusalem this year with the specific intent of protesting the second-class treatment of women on public transportation. She’ll proudly sit in the front of the bus and not budge as many passengers, both Haredi and non, get on and off. Her ‘triumph’ will be short lived when she finally realizes that it is a ‘regular’ bus, nobody cares and everyone sits wherever they want.

 4. Semantics & Politics: Opposition leader Tzipi Livni will publicly complain in the Knesset that Prime Minister Netanyahu is not doing a single thing to advance the peace process with the Palestinians. Netanyahu will counter that he is doing something, but it’s the Palestinians who are at fault for not doing anything. The debate goes on for hours and is dubbed ‘much ado about nothing’.

5. People of the Facebook: A recent poll said that the average Israeli spends almost 11 hours a month surfing social networks such as Facebook and Twitter, more than any other country in the world. I am going to go out on a limb here and predict that we'll keep the top spot in 2012, and when we do, thousands of Israelis will 'Like' it.

6. Ex-con is on: Some small time crook released from the Maasiyahu prison during 2012 will get a prime-time interview about his opinions on his prison mate, former President and convicted rapist Moshe Katzav. He won’t have much to say, but that won’t stop Channel 2 from promoting the interview to death.

7. Top 10: In spite of its huge debts, Israel’s Channel 10 will carry on broadcasting in 2012 and continue to bring us ‘high quality original Israeli programming’ such as Survivor and Beauty & the Geek.

8. And the winner is: The big winner of the 2012 US Presidential election will be…Michelle Obama! Her husband may not get another four years in the Oval Office, but the First Lady will keep appearing on TV talk-shows in 2012 and beyond, which is great news for daytime hosts like Ellen.

9. The Material Girl & the Prez: Madonna will give a concert in 2012 in Israel, we all know that, but I also predict she’ll have a ‘photo op’ with President Shimon Peres. The two have a lot in common; she was big in the 80’s and he’s well into his 80’s.

10. Fear the Beard?: Hassidic reggae rock star Matisyahu may have just shaved off his beard, but he’ll soon realize that like Samson, his ‘strength’ (ability to sell albums) has been sapped. He’ll be sporting a ‘compromise’ goatee by the end of the year.

11. Strike Out!: Histadrut labor union head Ofer Eini will call for a general strike that will include a shutdown of Ben-Gurion airport. This is not a new phenomenon, but I can predict exactly when the strike will start. It’ll be the day your mother in law is booked to fly back home after a month-long visit.

12. Not so 'new' year: I can safely predict that more than one reader will respond to this list by 'gently' reminding me that the Jewish New Year started some three months ago on Rosh Hashana and that instead of 2012, I should be celebrating the year 5772. That's all well and good, but would you really have patience for an article entitled, "72 Bold Predictions for 5772"?