Dreidels Are Not the Only Spinners
Dreidels Are Not the Only Spinners

"I'm bored," my roommate Yehuda complained. "Let's go out!"

"We can't go yet," I explained. "We just lit the Chanukah candles. Once they burn out, we'll go."

Yehuda glanced at the candles in the windowsill, let out a sigh and folded his arms. I found it ironic that someone named Yehuda would detest Chanukah, but I kept it to myself. Any mention of his namesake Judah Maccabee would just annoy him further.

"Let's play dreidel," I suggested.

"Are you kidding?" Yehuda asked incredulously. "What are we, six years old?"

"Why not?" I said cheerfully.

Yehuda grabbed one of the wooden tops and spun it halfheartedly. It landed with a plink.

"Are you happy now?" he asked me.

"You call that a spin?" I asked rhetorically. I took his dreidel and spun it upside down with great flare.



Which headline will you see: "Women Forced to Back of the Bus.. " "Ladies Enter Via Second Door for Own Convenience." or "Hareidi Women Also Want Separation on Buses"

"How did you do that?" Yehuda asked. "How do you make it spin on its head like that for so long?"

"It's a gift," I replied nonchalantly as I picked up three other svivonim, and spun them all upside down in a synchronized pattern.

"Unbelievable!" my friend's jaw dropped open. "Seriously, where did you learn to do that? When we grew up together in New York you never did stuff like that."

"It's quite simple, actually." I took two other dreidels and spun them upside down simultaneously. "If you've lived in Israel as long as I have, you master the art of spinning things."

"What are you talking about?" Yehuda asked. "How does living in Israel make you a better dreidel spinner?"

"Oh, it's not just dreidels, it's anything. Don't feel bad, you're an oleh chadash [new immigrant to Israel,ed.], but once you’ve lived here long enough, you'll become a good spinner too."

Yehuda was confused. He continued spinning his driedel the 'regular' way, while I spun mine head-first.

"It's all about spin," I explained as I grabbed a stack of weekend papers that were scattered on the table.

"Pick a headline, any headline."

Yehuda grabbed a paper and read:

"Violent Settlers Attack Israeli Soldiers".

I thought for a moment.

"I’d call it: ‘Dedicated Settler Youth Defend their Ideals’."

Yehuda continued:

"Religious Objections Deny Women Right to Sing at Ceremony"

"How's this", I said:

"All-male Choir Brought in Consideration of Religious Feelings"

or

"All-male Choir Brought in to Save Women's Voices."

"Wait a minute," Yehuda pointed at me. "You don't believe that, do you?"

"It's not what I believe, dear Yehuda. It's about 'the spin'. Let's continue. Give me another headline."

Yehudah shook his head. I motioned him to proceed.

"Women Forced to Back of the Bus.. "

"Ladies Enter Via Second Door for Own Convenience."

or

"Hareidi Women Also Want Separation on Buses"

Yehuda flipped some pages.

"Former President Charged with Rape"

"Misunderstood Politician Falsely Accused of Inappropriate Behavior"

Yehuda really didn't like that one, but he continued.

"Obama Courts Jewish Voters."

"President Sucks up to Jews."

"Syrian Forces Kills Civilians."

"Government Quells Riot."

"Oh, come on!" Yehuda banged his fist on the table. "And what about 'Hamas terrorists'?"

"Excuse me, they are called 'militant freedom fighters'".

Yehuda read on.

"Israeli Author Guilty of Plagiarizing"

"Writer Inspired by Colleague Takes Poetic License"

Exasparated, Yehuda flipped ahead to the newspaper till he reached the entertainment section.

"Ok, what about this new movie advertised here. 'Adam Sandler, Stoops to Juvenile Humor’."

"Piece of cake,” I said. "Adam Sandler: Comic Genius for the Facebook Generation."

Frustrated, Yehuda put down the paper and looked for some other inspiration. He glanced at the calendar and noted the date, December 25th.

"I've got it! Santa Claus is a big fraud. He doesn't visit every kid's house on Christmas Eve. Jews know better than to buy into that kind of stuff."

"Ok, well what about Elijah the prophet? We Jews believe he comes to every Passover Seder and brit milah. Should we stop pouring the wine cup and setting up a special chair for him?"

"Enough!" Yehuda got up from his seat. "You win! You can spin anything better than I can, ok? But it's a useless gift. Nobody needs it."

"You may be right," I said as I got up and grabbed my jacket.

The candles had almost gone out and we could now leave them in safety 

As we headed out, we looked out the window to view the flickering, nearly extinguished candles.

"You know, Yehuda, the Chanukah candles are the ultimate spin?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, Chanukah is really about the Maccabee's victory over the much larger and stronger Syrian-Greeks."

"Yeah, so," Yehuda said, getting into his car

"Well," I said as I leaned on his window from the outside, "imagine how the losers spun the story? The Jews touted their victory as ‘the weak defeated the mighty’ and ‘the few beat the many’. How do you think the 'losers' spun it?"

"I don't know. Maybe 'beginner's luck' or 'Sneaky Jews Fight Dirty and Win'?

Exactly! But that's where the miracle of the oil comes in. Anyone can 'spin' the outcome of a war, but oil burning for 8 days straight, that's a real miracle. It supported the fact that their military victory was miraculously legitimate. You can't spin the miracle of the oil any other way."

Yehuda turned the ignition and started up his car.

"Ok, so what are we doing tonight? I'm in the mood for some junk food. How about a burger & fries?”

"Hmm.. I contemplated one last spin.

"A healthy meal of ‘meat and potatoes’? I'm in!"