Lag Ba'Omer: Distance Learning
Lag Ba'Omer: Distance Learning

It's that time of year again. Kids with 'borrowed' shopping carts full of wood rush by. The smell of bonfire smoke fills the air. Lag Ba'omer is here in Israel. 

I have grown accustomed to the bonfires (and the smoke) which will accompany the onset of Lag Ba'omer this Saturday night. I wonder how many of the revelers even know that the fires are in honor of the great sage and author of the Zohar, Rabbi Shimon Bar Yochai (a disciple of Rabbi Akiva), who according to tradition passed awayon Lag Ba'omer. But that doesn't really bother me. 

What intrigues me more is the main reason behind the celebrations on Lag Ba'omer. According to the Talmud (and Wikipedia), during the time of Rabbi Akiva, 24,000 of his students died from a divinely sent plague during the counting of the Omer. The Talmud goes on to say that this was because they did not show proper respect to one another, befitting their level. They begrudged each other the spiritual levels attained by their comrades. Jews celebrate Lag Ba'omer, the 33rd day of the count, as the traditional day that this plague ended.  

But how could these great scholars in their own right, the students of Rabbi Akiva, the same Rabbi Akiva who preached, "Veahavta le-raiacha kamocha, Love your neighbor as yourself"- This is an essential ​principle​of the Torah", have fallen in this vital precept? How could they, of all people, have lacked respect towards their scholarly colleagues?  

A common bumper sticker found on cars in Israel states: 'Shmor Merchak!' – which literally means: 'Keep your distance!', but idiomatically means: 'Don't tailgate!' The reasoning behind it is that keeping a safe distance between cars will hopefully reduce traffic accidents.  

But 'keeping distance' doesn't just apply on our roads; it also has meaning if you are a soldier in the Israeli Army. At the start of basic training in the IDF, new recruits are taught how to address their commanding officers ('hamefaked'/ 'hamefakedet' ). In Hebrew, the term for this is 'Merchak Pikudi', but it is more commonly known by an English word, heavily accented by Israelis on the first syllable: 'distance'. 

Maintaining 'distance' is important in the Israeli army as most of the commanding officers are only slightly older, by a year or two, than their recruits. When I was inducted as a new immigrant in the IDF, I was older than both the recruits and the officers by several years, but still respected the 'distance' the officers enforced. Only on the last evening of basic training, after several weeks of 'distance', the officers 'broke distance' and eased the restrictions, allowing soldiers to call them by their first names, etc. 

It seems to me that what Israeli society lacks today is 'distance'. Most of us who grew up in the Diaspora addressed our teachers by their last names (Mr. Jones or Mrs. Stern). Nobody would dream of calling a teacher by their first name as many students in Israel today do. The same went for other people in authority. Teachers, Rabbis, doctors, professors, authority figures, and older people in general were always addressed in a respectable way as 'Sir' or 'Ma'am' or by their title. There was none of the familiarity that is so prevalent today. Perhaps that's why 'distance' must be hammered home so hard in the IDF. Many of the Israeli born recruits are simply ill prepared to address those in authority in a respectful way.

The same is true at home. I have seen many cases where there is little or no 'distance' between parent and child. In some cases the parent is at fault for turning the child into a good friend. I've seen many moms and daughters shopping together and often the mom turns to the teen for advice on what to wear and you could swear they were best friends. This never happened with my dad. Whenever I would get too silly or disrespectful around my father he would sharply remind me, "I am not your friend!" and I would quickly adjust my behavior. Many young people today should do the same. Maybe Facebook is partly to blame, as anyone (no matter what age or title) can in theory be 'friends' with anyone else. Sometimes these online friendships become too familiar and basic levels of respect (or 'distance') are lost. 

So perhaps this was the trap that the students of Rabbi Akiva fell into. Perhaps they became too chummy with their fellow pupils. Perhaps while immersed in their study of Torah they became too close to one another and did not leave any 'distance', which caused them to lack respect for one another. If one takes the analogy of a fire, which is quite appropriate for Lag Ba'omer, a fire can be wonderful, provide heat, light, warmth, etc., but if one gets too close - you get burned. Perhaps the same thing happened to the students of Rabbi Akiva, they became too friendly with one another and lost the respect they should have maintained for their colleagues – they did not maintain 'distance'.

So, whether it be on the roads, online, in the classroom, or at home, let's try to remember to Shmor Merchak, to keep a little respectful distance. Or, as one of my all-time favorite bumper stickers said: "If you can read this bumper sticker, you are driving too close!"