The alienating capitalist

Masechet Avot (5, 10) describes 4 different types of attributes and characteristics:
There are four types of character in human beings:

One that says: “mine is mine, and yours is yours”: this is a commonplace type; and some say this is a sodom-type of character.
“mine is yours and yours is mine”: is an unlearned person (am haaretz);
“mine is yours and yours is yours” is a pious person.
“mine is mine, and yours is mine” is a wicked person.

Working backwards, the second set of characters depict the selfish egoist and the selfless altruist. The second person seems to be a communist. No personal belongings. But we are here to discuss the first prototype - the capitalist. Each to his own. The Mishnah itself is debates whether this is a mediocre behavior or might this be the worst type of behavior possible – the way of Sodom. The reason we take close notice of this dilemma is because it might imply Esav in our parasha.

Yaacov grants Esav gifts beyond measure (or maybe very much exactly measured…) but Esav replies:
וַיֹּאמֶר עֵשָׂו יֶשׁ לִי רָב אָחִי יְהִי לְךָ אֲשֶׁר לָךְ. (בראשית ל"ג, ט')
Esau said, I have enough, my brother; let what you have remain yours. (Bereshit 33, 9)
keep it. It is yours. I have enough of my own.

Does that sound so bad? It sounds to me quite polite and genuine. But having the Mishnah in mind we tune in to the underlying agenda here and wonder – is this בינוני – mediocre? Or is this Sodom? Let's zoom in.

Yaacov is worried. Who will he meet when he meets Esav?
הַצִּילֵנִי נָא מִיַּד אָחִי מִיַּד עֵשָׂו (בראשית ל"ב, י"ב)

Deliver me, I pray, from the hand of my brother, from the hand of Esau; else, I fear, he may come and strike me down, mothers and children alike. (Bereshit 32, 12)

Will he meet a brother? Or will he meet a foreigner named Esav?

To put this question to the test, Yaacov sent the gifts. And the test yields results. Esav's polite rejection of the presents, as generous as they were, revealed a harsh truth. Alienation. Not really a brother.

We learn that the polite rejection of any gift has a caveat. By rejecting the gift, we also reject the expected interaction expressed by the giving party. Yours is yours and mine is mine – might be a modern and practical western capitalist approach, but just the same – this is an isolating approach counterproductive to community and trust. The rejection can easily slip from an intermediate adequate behavior, neither righteous nor evil, to an alienating behavior cutting all threads of togetherness. The sin of Sodom was a structured, well maintained society of anti-chesed. An alienating successful commune of mine is mine, and yours is yours. Miners.

Esav, rejecting the gift, makes it very clear – I might not kill you, but I don't really want anything to do with you. Yaacov realizes there is no brotherhood to expect here.

Nevertheless, Yaacov insists on Esav taking the gifts, as if to say – I urge you to keep in contact. But Esav moves on. He moves out of Canaan as he cannot leave together.

... וַיֵּ֣לֶךְ אֶל־אֶ֔רֶץ מִפְּנֵ֖י יַעֲקֹ֥ב אָחִֽיו׃ כי־הָיָ֧ה רְכוּשָׁ֛ם רָ֖ב מִשֶּׁ֣בֶת יַחְדָּ֑ו וְלֹ֨א יָֽכְלָ֜ה אֶ֤רֶץ מְגֽוּרֵיהֶם֙ לָשֵׂ֣את אֹתָ֔ם מִפְּנֵ֖י מִקְנֵיהֶֽם׃ (בראשית ל"ו, ו-ז)

… and went to another land because of his brother Jacob. For their possessions were too many for them to dwell together, and the land where they sojourned could not support them because of their livestock. (Bereshit 36, 6-7)

Whether or not Yaacov is satisfied with this arrangement, we do not know. What we do know is that now Yaacov has no more questions regarding his unique identity as the third Father, with Avraham and Itzhak. Now – he is whole.

וַיָּבֹא֩ יַעֲקֹ֨ב שָׁלֵ֜ם עִ֣יר שְׁכֶ֗ם (בראשית ל"ג, י"ח).
Jacob arrived safe in the city of Shechem (Bereshit 33, 18)


How we accept gifts of gratitude and friendship is crucial. We must learn to accept the other who is reaching out and wanting to belong and connect.

A brotherhood of givers. Not Miners.

:For comments [email protected]