Dudu Saada hosts Dr. Nirit Rauchberger, whose son Shilo - a platoon commander in the 51st Battalion of the Golani Brigade, was killed in a heroic battle on the morning of Simchat Torah. He was 23 years old.
Nirit tells about her son: "Shilo was born on Tisha B'av, and from then I said that he was a child of redemption, full of life. Shilo volunteered for years at “Lev Binyamin” and at “One Family”. He lived a full life also in the depth of his meeting with the people, with his desire to connect between people, open hearts, and give and only add good.
On the first holiday of Sukkot, we hosted fifty people, it was chaos, the house was full, I looked for an opportunity to talk to Shilo. Even though he had returned from the army and was so tired we sat until 3 am having a mother-son talk about life, what he wants, and how he sees himself in life after the army. He was offered a long-term position in the army and he wasn’t sure if to take it or not. We spoke about dating. It was such a meaningful conversation that cleared many issues for me and gave me a lot of strength. I remember every word. Even before he returned to the army on Sunday, he woke me up and said goodbye.
On Simchat Torah morning the town of Eli was emptied of combat soldiers, I didn't really know exactly where Shilo was, but my feeling was that he was invulnerable, surrounded by an aura, protected.
There was an artillery attack, they were right on the border and entered the dining room which is their protected space. After a few minutes, they heard gunfire shots – the terrorists fired an RPG at the door, it opened and basically everyone was exposed. Shilo in those moments took command, and together with Amichai Rubin and another soldier, they guarded the door so that the terrorists couldn’t enter. One soldier said that Shilo managed the fighting in a measured and calm manner. He was fully focused on his mission. When they saw that he was lying down in a pool of blood, they did not realize that he was injured - he was fully aware. For four hours there was fighting and at the end the terrorists were eliminated and in fact about thirty soldiers were saved - his entire platoon, except for Amichai Rubin and Shilo. They were moved from the dining room to a synagogue, and someone covered him with the cover from the Aron Kodesh. Shiloh returned in the Aron Kodesh.
After Shabbat, when no one came, I relaxed a little. As a mother of four soldiers, I disconnected myself from the news, I didn't want unnecessary worries. I really felt that I was focused on all four of my sons who were fighting, and I wrapped them in prayer and thoughts and felt I was there with them. I couldn't afford to be distracted. Then there were knocks on the door and the town’s resilience committee was standing there. My first question was: "Which one of them...?".
"I tried not to believe it, to postpone the end. I asked to see him, and they said that it was wartime and there was no possibility. I was waiting for the official announcement from the IDF, but in the meantime, we received more details from those who were with him and realized that there was no mistake. My eldest son said he was going to look after him - there was such chaos, and the fence was breached. On Wednesday official army officers came to us, and the funeral was on Thursday."
"I feel Shilo with me at every moment. His spirit is at home, his joy, but it's hard. On Friday night when we bless our children, he's not there - it's hard. I live one day at a time, unable to think ahead. Sometimes I feel like my heart is literally breaking physically. But it's a wave that comes and goes, I fall apart and then get stronger. The three other boys returned to fighting, but they issued an order that bereaved brothers aren’t on the front line, so they are in relatively protected places. They say we're going through a challenging time, but the inner experience and my inner feelings, and the state of consciousness I'm in - that I'm on a mission, and not a challenge."