Aliyah is not easy - especially if one is in mid-career and is blessed with children of various ages. For many people it is simply too complicated to just pick up and leave their lives.
On the other hand, many agree with the late Rabbi Zecharia Wallerstein, who said plaintively , "We just don't belong here anymore…"
It is very likely that many Western Jews feel as follows: "I would ideally like to be living in Israel. But there are objective reasons that make it improbable at this point in my life. If I would have made the move earlier, before or right after I was married, or maybe even earlier than that, I would be there now, and so would my family and job and community. Oh well…"
Much has been said about the futility of doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. So let's change the mold: Instead of bemoaning what we can't do because of what we did before, and then doing it again – let's get out of the cycle, and make sure it doesn't happen with our children!!
As parents, we must encourage our children to go to Israel for a year of study – and longer! That is, even those of us whose children already take the "gap year in Israel" route, we must not tell them, "Don't forget that it's just for one year, you hear!? When the year in Israel is over, you're returning for college!"
For how is it logical for parents to say, "We made a mistake, and now we're all stuck, but we insist that you make the same mistake and do the same thing we did"? Certainly this is true when the need for massive change is staring us in the face.
Now that it's more indicated and attractive than ever to make Aliyah, parents must be open with their children: "We're happy we were able to give you opportunities that we ourselves didn't necessarily have, but it cost us a lot – and now we're unable to leave! So we encourage you to go to Israel now - when you are unburdened, when all that is holding us back is not holding you back! And hopefully, we'll even join you one day!"
Yes – not only encourage them to go for a year of study, but to actively explore remaining for good!
This applies not only to post high school students, but even to those in 10th or 11th grades. Some highly successful Aliyah stories began in exactly this manner – and culminated with other siblings, and later even the parents, coming to stay as well!
What could be more rewarding for parents than to know that their children have succeeded in breaking out of a seemingly impermeable mold and setting their family on a new and better path!
Spending a year or two after high school in an Israeli yeshiva, kibbutz, or college program is, of course, a familiar part of Jewish life for many communities – even though for every student who takes advantage of this opportunity, so many more do not. With proper motivation, leadership, and communal support, many more high school graduates will spend their next year in Israel.
But what about high school age students? Is it realistic to expect parents to send their young teenage children for a year abroad?
The answer is most certainly yes, especially if the proper framework exists – and certainly if it is totally subsidized by the Israeli government and Jewish Agency! Check out, for instance, the highly-successful Naale program at <https://www.naale-elite-academy.com/en/school/shaalvim/>, which has a boys' high school in Yeshivat Shaalvim, one for girls in Ulpanat Amana in Kfar Saba, and other high school programs as well.
And for those who wish to start off their important college years in Israel, that's also a wise move: Tuition is partially or wholly subsidized, and many universities offer programs specially geared to new immigrants. Visit <https://www.nbn.org.il/israel-life-blog/college-usa-vs-israel/>.
Or might you wish to start integrating into Israeli society via the army or recognized volunteer work? Try out <https://www.nbn.org.il/aliyahpedia-home/army-sherut-leumi> and <https://www.nbn.org.il/lone-soldiers-program/>.
Moses told Pharaoh, "We're leaving Egypt, with our youth and our elders!" Not for naught did he begin with the youth, because that's how real change often happens. Now as well, let our youth go first, and their families will follow afterwards. The difficulties of Aliyah – acculturation, making a living, learning the language, making friends, and more – can be greatly eased, if not obviated, with this switch in our thinking: "By sending our children to Israel, we're not losing them – we're gaining our family's future!"
Hillel Fendel is an editor and author who served as senior editor of Arutz Sheva's "Israel National News" for 16 years.