Time Management
Time ManagementThinkstock

The Keys to Lasting Change

Nine keys to create lasting change

L.A.S.T.I.N.G. change needs:

1. L – Leverage – Pain vs. Gain. What will you gain if you change and what will you lose if you don’t? Why is change a must?!

You can gain leverage by associating a lot of pain to not changing, for example; not choosing a healthier lifestyle will mean ultimate death, or by associating a lot of pleasure to changing, for example; choosing a healthier lifestyle will mean losing weight and looking highly attractive.

When you want to create change within yourself or someone else, you’ve got to intensify the leverage to the upmost degree because it is the base to which all change stands on. Not having enough leverage is like trying to water a garden without having first sowed the seeds.

“Without leverage you’re doomed to fail, with enough leverage you’re destined to succeed!”

2. A – Alternatives & 3. Accountability – What will you replace the habit with, and who will hold you accountable?

In order to change a destructive habit, you need to find an alternative habit to replace it with. When someone is addicted to a destructive physical habit like smoking or junk food, or a vicious emotional habit like anxiety or depression, it has to be meeting their needs at a pretty high level or they wouldn’t do it. Therefore it is crucial to find an alternative habit to meet ones needs that is even more gratifying. First you work on linking a lot of pain to the current habit and then you go on to identify a ton of pleasure to the new habit. For example smoking; first you link pain by honestly admitting the true toxicity that smoking causes to the body and its potential deadly effects,  as well as all the people they love that their hurting by slowly killing themselves.

Then you offer a new habit like deep breathing and E.F.T. (emotional freedom technique) and describe the positive effects this will have on the body and soul, like calmness and tranquility. And of course the feelings of self respect and love that show up in their life once they’ve freed themselves from this deadly habit.

“If the leverage is strong enough, accountability will be a breeze”

Another example would be anxiety. Anxiety is a vicious bully that robs the physical and emotional reserves out of a person. So why would someone subconsciously choose such a painful emotional habit? Anxiety is a complete diversion from severe anger and the intense hurt beneath it all. So the new habit to replace anxiety with would be anger. For –

 “Anger in its purest form is the gift of passion; through with passion man can achieve his wildest dreams!”

4. S – Success – Success comes from the feeling of knowing you accomplished what you set out to do. Success breeds success. When you see your success in front of you, you’re motivated to keep on succeeding. It is therefore crucial to set up a “smart” plan of action. S.M.A.R.T – Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Rewarding and Time specific.

“Secure Success with a Smart Sketch”

5. T – Trust & 6. Time– Change is difficult and at times can feel impossible. Having trust in ourselves is one of the first vital steps to creating lasting change. We’ve got to trust and have faith in ourselves that we have what it takes to truly change. We can also put our trust in God that He will help us change.

(Gemara) “For the way in which a person wants to go, He is led.”

Change doesn’t happen overnight; change takes time, so we’ve got to trust the process and time it takes to create real lasting change.

7. I – Inspirational Identity – Create an inspirational identity that will help keep you motivated to change and succeed. Gain inspiration from others who’ve created an inspirational identity!

The power of fantasy is an incredible resource if used constructively. You can fantasize about having a hot cake sundae or you can fantasize about seeing the attractive you in the near future with enough hard work and persistence. You can fantasize about your future dream spouse or you can fantasize about becoming the fantasy you. For –

“There is no fantasy in the world that will give you more pleasure than becoming the fantasy you!”

8. N – Nature Nurtured – In order for change to last, it’s got to become completely nurtured into your nature. So keep working at it until it becomes part of your nature! For example, if you want to change your nature from feeling shameful or angry, then nurture yourself through positive thinking.

“Change your nature by nurturing it!”

9. G – Gratitude – Replace guilt with gratitude. Be grateful for your achievements as much as your failures – for they keep you humble!

“Gratitude is the key to letting go of the past and living in the present!”

Leah Field is a life skills coach trained by Refuah Institute, Machon Aluf Binah and RMT Center for Strategic Intervention (Tony Robbins & Cloe Madanes).  She can be reached via email at [email protected]