New Career Ideas for Ex-MK's

(Israelnationalnews.com)

Haaretz October 30, 07 reports that ex-Knesset Members who failed to get re-elected are having trouble finding careers and employment. You see, it is almost de rigueur for Israeli parliament candidate not to have any serious credentials or gainful employment skills. The Knesset is really a large dole office for the unemployable and talentless.

 

So when a Knesset Member fails to make it into the chamber in the primaries and elections, he or she faces a midlife crisis. A research study in the UK by one Prof. Thickstone finds that ex-MP's there also have crises. The Haaretz piece reports that Likud ex-MK Gila Gamliel is now teaching cosmetics in the "Gigi Academy of Cosmetics." Ilan Gilon from Meretz is a radio show announcer.

 

Now I am sure you will agree with me that this is a serious national problem. Having served their country so well, we would not want these valuable members of society to waste away in indolence and sloth!

 

So we at Israel National News have approached late night TV host David Letterman to ask him to prepare a list of ten career suggestions for unemployed ex-members of the Knesset. Pickpocket was too obvious, given their previous experience, so we asked that it not be included. The Ish-Michtavim was kind enough to help us out.

 

Ready? Here goes.

 

Tonight's Top Ten List from Dave Letterman! The top ten career suggestions for unemployed ex-MK's:

 

 

10. Train as Gefilte Fishmongers.

9. Give them accordion lessons, teach them Russian, and send them downtown.

8. Teach them to drive bulldozers and aim them at the International Solidarity Movement protesters.

7. Let them serve as human shields for important buildings in Sderot.

6. Assign them to take charge of turning off the electricity to the Gaza Strip but don't show them how to turn it on again.

5. Pretend to be academics and get tenure at Ben Gurion University.

4. Try to find a single sentence written by a conspiracy nut that is truthful. (A contest for this exists and there is money in it!)

3. Let them prepare the Knesset building for shabbas by spending Friday tearing off squares of toilet paper.

2. Teach them to ask "Any fries with that?"

1. Assign them to give Ehud Olmert some very thorough prostate examinations.