Audio: "So How Do Ya Feel?" What to Not Say to Someone Mourning

"So How Do Ya Feel?" What to Say and Not Say to Someone in Mourning.
10/29/2012, 9:25 AM

A7 Radio's "The Derech Eretz Show" with Rabbi Elan Adler
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This is the second of two shows related to the passing of my beloved mother, Gertrude T. Adler of blessed memory, who was kissed into Heaven a month ago.

Last week I spoke about my mother and her life and how she inspired so my of my Derech Eretz thinking, and this week I look back at our shiva period and suggest a Derech Eretz guide to the appropriate - and less appropriate - things to say when visiting a mourning family. Also, what are the contents of a comforting email to send to mourners when you can't visit them in person. Lastly, how do we identify mourners after their shiva week - absent of seeing them wear torn clothing or a shiva ribbon - and give them the comfort thay may need?
Thanks so many of you who sent a kind message of comfort.

To be in touch, Have a great week and keep that Derech Eretz thing going!

Rabbi Elan Adler served as a pulpit Rabbi for 25 years in Stamford, Ct and Baltimore, Md prior to making aliyah in 2010. Rabbi Adler received his Smicha from Yeshiva University, had the privilege of being an aide to Rabbi Joseph B. Soloveitchik for two years, was an activist Rabbi in support of Israel and aliyah, and served as the President of the Baltimore Board of Rabbis. During his tenure as a Rabbi, he was known for being an engaging speaker and teacher, never failing to make easy connections with Jewish people as well as the non-Jewish and African American community. While serving congregations, he was appreciated for being welcoming, embracing of all people, and bringing congregants closer to their Jewish heritage. For more information on Rabbi Adler visit
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