MK Betzalel Smotrich
MK Betzalel Smotrichצילום: Flash 90

Prime Minister Binyamin Netanyahu,


Sorry for allowing myself, but after Aviad Glickman's shaky exposure on Channel 10 yesterday, I'm really upset. Truly troubled. And I want to ask of you something small.

You must understand. Your honor is our honor, and if you host someone, be it the President of the United States or any other senior official and G-d forbid something isn't perfect, it won't hurt you and your honor, but the dignity of all of us.

So please, if there's a scratch, even the smallest, in a piece of furniture in your official residence, or anywhere else you host them, please replace it immediately. And if there's a fear that suddenly furniture might be scratched and they won't be able to buy a new one in time, then please make sure that they keep a reserve of one more table, or two, or even three, so it can be switched immediately. And not just a table but any other piece of furniture. It's not for you, Mr. Prime Minister, it's for us.

And please - and forgive me again for allowing myself - but make sure the house is always clean and spotlessly painted. Because, as I said, it's not your dignity but that of all of us.

>>>

And of course, Mr. Prime Minister, good governance is very important to all of us, and if possible everything should be done by tender; that would be wonderful.

But if the meaning of a tender is that it'll take a long time to buy a new chair or table to replace one that no longer does us honor, and if the meaning of a tender is that it won't be ready in time because of some bureaucrat, or accountant, or legal advisor as usually happens when something doesn't appeal to them, then please take care to buy what's needed without a tender because it's the honor of all of us.

And please don't take critics of your office or state comptrollers seriously. And don't be angry with them either. They're doing their job, and what can we do if they were educated to suspect everyone and see the bad in everything and look at everything critically. They don't have the responsibility you have on your shoulders and all of our honor seems to interest them much less than the personal opinion of some clerk in the hierarchy who prefers to buy the table from another supplier even if it takes an extra month.

You continue to run the affairs of state to honor the State of Israel and they'll continue to issue ridiculous reports that will make headlines for a day-and-a-half and then disappear.

>>>

And something else, Mr. Prime Minister, and again I'm sorry to allow myself to ask. Really sorry.


If you like pistachio ice cream or any other ice cream, and if that makes you feel good - even just a little - please order a lot of it. Because it's important to us that with all the hard work and the heavy responsibility placed on your shoulders you'll always be calm and in good spirits. It is important for us that you be be happy, sharp, and focused. It's in our clear interest. Not yours.

And if after a day packed with activity to benefit all of us you have to relax in the armchair with some good ice cream or enjoy a good midnight meal with some heimish food in an aluminum tray from a Jerusalem steakhouse so you'll have more strength to serve us the next day then please, pay no attention to all the small-minded, hypocritical little shouters who don't, and probably never will, do one thousandth of what you do for the State of Israel and are always looking to complain and tear down. Please, Mr. Prime Minister, completely ignore them and order anything that'll help you serve us better. (For midnight meals, you should only consider what's healthy to eat late at bedtime.)

>>>

And I feel I'm a bit overdoing it, yet I hope you won't be angry with me for allowing myself one more request. The last one and that's it.

Whatever I asked for you, please do for your wife. Because it's in our interest, yes again, that it will also be good for her. Because anyone who understands something about being married and in love knows that when it's good for one partner, it's good for the other. And it's in our clear interest that the two of you have a good life, that you live in love, peace, and tranquility, so that the energies of you both can be directed to the good of the country and to our welfare. We have one Prime Minister, and as we said, we need him to be sharp and focused, and for this we need it to be good for his family and good for him.

>>>

So, really, thank you, Mr. Prime Minister, and sorry for all the narrow-minded people who apparently don't know what it means to be prime minister and are a bit jealous of you. Don't take them too hard. They're really a small minority. Most of us are very grateful and appreciate what you do for us, even if we don't agree with you about everything and even if we have heated arguments with you on several issues. We, and in my opinion most of the people, know well to make the distinction.

Yours,

Betzalel

Translated by Mordechai Sones

"Bibi's pistachio"
"Bibi's pistachio"צילום: Flash 90