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A Lesson in Life

Sometimes you just can't take back a bad decision
By Efrat
First Publish: 5/13/2014, 9:49 PM

Pregnant woman (illustration)
Pregnant woman (illustration)
Thinkstock

"When I found out I was pregnant, the one thing I was sure of was that the timing couldn’t have been worse. We were newly weds and my husband and I were focused elsewhere, on our careers. I was studying and he had taken up a senior position in a large company. I wasn't thinking long-term, our whole life revolved around the present," said Yael.

"I noticed an Efrat flyer on my college campus, advertising that they provide assistance to pregnant women who need financial aid, but I felt it didn't speak to me since my financial situation was excellent and the reasons for considering abortion had nothing to do with distress, and certainly not financial. My mother, who really wanted me to continue the pregnancy, told me that I might regret it and I replied nonchalantly that there was a time and place for everything - including children.

"That’s how I ended the conversation and after that we never talked about it. I made an appointment for an abortion at a private clinic and so came to an end that chapter in my life. A year later after I had graduated, I got a great job as a lecturer at the college where I had studied, just as I’d always wanted. My husband and I decided it was time to start a family. Unfortunately, any attempt to conceive was unsuccessful.

"Only a year down the line, we realized that there might be a problem and that we should consult with a doctor. Following a series of tests, I received a heavy blow.

"They told me unequivocally that I could never have children. I felt that I was going insane. I was utterly shattered, and even my husband was in shock. When I’d had that abortion no one had bothered to tell me that because I’d chosen to have an abortion with my first pregnancy I had increased my chances of infertility. If I’d known that, I'm sure my egoistic considerations would have taken a backseat. For days, I couldn’t stop crying. I lost the will to live and just floated around in a daze.

"When I came across an Efrat flyer on campus again, what caught my eye was one line: 'Unwanted pregnancies give birth to beloved children' and I was full of regret, unable to forgive myself for the time I had chosen to ignore that sentence for my own selfish reasons. I thought that the best way for me to try recover would be to prevent other women from making the mistake I had made and I decided to do it through Efrat. I have been volunteering for Efrat for several months. I know that through the information that Efrat provides and the emotional support offered by volunteers, women can reconsider their choices from a more educated position."