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Fishman Apologizes to American Jewry!

By Tzvi Fishman
1/5/2011, 12:00 AM

Prompted by the discovery of what could be the world’s oldest Torah scroll, unearthed by archeologists in the Sinai wilderness, a short distance away from the legendary mountain, where Moses received the Torah, INN blogger, Tzvi Fishman, has issued a moving statement, asking American Jews to forgive him for admonishing them for not coming to Israel on aliyah.

At the dig site.

French and German archeologists at the site of the dig say that the Torah scroll may very well be the original scroll written by Moses himself. The most startling revelation is that wherever the words “the land of the Canaani” appear in normal Torah scrolls, the words “the land of the Cherokee” appear instead. Other discrepancies discovered in the ancient text also reveal that America may have been the original Promised Land, and that the Israelis changed the original wording in order to dupe the world into believing that the Land of Israel was the Holy Land instead.

The ancient scroll that is sending shock waves through Israel.

Here are some examples:

“In that same day, the L-rd mad a covenant with Avram, saying, ‘To your seed have I given this land, from the Delaware River to the great California coastal highway, the lands of the Cherokee, and the Comanche, and the Blackfoot, and the Sioux” (Genesis, 15:18).

“And the L-rd said to Moses, I have surely seen the affliction of thy people who are in Egypt… and I am come down to bring them out of that land to a good and large land, a land flowing with milk and honey, to the place of the Cherokee, and the Comanche, and the Blackfoot, and the Sioux” (Exodus, 3:8).

“The L-rd our G-d spoke to us in Sinai, saying, You have dwelt long enough in this mountain; turn and take up your journey and go to the land of the Cherokee, from California, to the New York island, from the redwood forest, to the gulf stream waters. This land is your land, this land is My land; this land was made for you and me” (Exodus, 1:6).

“And I will set thy borders from the Atlantic Ocean to the Pacific, from the Navaho desert and the Gulf of Mexico unto the falls of Niagra and the plains of Canada, from Puerto Rico and the Virgin Islands to the islands of Hawaii and the tundra of Alaska, from the sewers of Flatbush, to the crap tables of Vegas, and the shores of the Malibu” (Exodus, 23:31).  

Meanwhile, the Jews in Israel are in a frenzied panic. The Prime Minister’s Office has issued a statement saying that an emergency Knesset committee will investigate the matter. Orthodox Jewish leaders in Jerusalem claim that the revolutionary Torah scroll unearthed in the Sinai is a fake, in a "Peace Now" backed Palestinian and European Community plot to undermine Israel’s biblical claim to its homeland. In Washington, speculation has it that the United States may not veto a General Assembly resolution to oust Israel from the UN.      

“I was wrong,” INN’s Fishman admits. “This discovery proves that America is the Promised Land. I'm so embarassed over all the blogs that I wrote. I’m packing up my family and moving back to New York as soon as I can.”