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America The Beautiful!

By Tzvi Fishman
12/12/2010, 12:00 AM
Yesterday was an ordinary “day in the life” of America. Here are a few actual breaking news flashes to the tune of “America the Beautiful.”  

“O beautiful for spacious skies,
For amber waves of grain,
For purple mountain majesties
Above the fruited plain!
America! America!
God shed his grace on thee
And crown thy good with brotherhood
From sea to shining sea!”

We interrupt this anthem with a breaking news flash!

A day in the life of America

The eldest son of the biggest swindler in U.S. history, unable to stand another day of his soured life, hung himself with a dog leash Saturday in his multimillion-dollar SoHo condo. Two years of living with his disgraced father's $65 billion legacy of deception was all Mark Madoff could stomach.The 46-year-old investment scion's body was brought out on a stretcher at 12:22 p.m., finally free from the cloud of suspicion that hung above his head.

“O beautiful for pilgrim feet
Whose stern impassioned stress
A thoroughfare of freedom beat
Across the wilderness!
America! America!
God mend thine every flaw,
Confirm thy soul in self-control,
Thy liberty in law!”

We once again interrupt this inspiring song with another breaking news flash!

Disney darling, Miley Cyrus, was caught smoking bong on video.The 2-minute and 36-second long clip shows the singer inhaling from a bong as a friend captures it all on tape.

What ever happened to Walt Disney?


"You're gonna s--t a brick when you see this," the filmmaker tells her.

"Oh, no," Cyrus replies. "I want more of that s--t, I swear."

And the camerawoman agrees, saying, "Yeah. You need to do more. You're not as f---ed up as you should be."

“O beautiful for heroes proved
In liberating strife.
Who more than self their country loved
And mercy more than life!
America! America!
May God thy gold refine
Till all success be nobleness
And every gain divine!”

Once again, we interrupt with a tragic news flash!

Sylvie Cachay: Beautiful and talented fashion designer found dead at the Soho House.
Beautiful, talented and driven, Sylvie Cachay, 33, was a fashion designer on the rise. Her shocking death left the fashion community reeling, when police found her body in the bathtub at the swanky Soho House hotel. Nick Brooks, 24 -- whose Academy Award winning dad was indicted last year on 82 counts of sexually abusing young actresses -- was booked after nearly two days in police custody, where he was grilled by cops and body-searched for DNA and other evidence. Brooks' father, Joseph -- who won an Oscar for composing the song "You Light Up My Life" -- is fighting charges he sexually assaulted 11 starlets.

 

“O beautiful for patriot dream
That sees beyond the years
Thine alabaster cities gleam
Undimmed by human tears!
America! America!
God shed his grace on thee
And crown thy good with brotherhood
From sea to shining sea!”

Sorry folks, well get back to this wonderful song, but first another news flash!

Former Miss Arizona contestant Kumari Fulbright was sentenced Thursday to two years in prison for her role in the twisted kidnap and torture of her ex-boyfriend.

Former Miss Arizona and boyfriend

Fulbright's fall from grace occurred in 2007 when she was arrested with three other men for the brutal attack on then-boyfriend Joshua Conway, who was slashed with a knife, beaten and held at gunpoint for hours before escaping.

“O beautiful for halcyon skies,
For amber waves of grain,
For purple mountain majesties
Above the enameled plain!
America! America!
God shed his grace on thee
Till souls wax fair as earth and air
And music-hearted sea!”

 

Oh, Jezuuus, all hell’s breaking loose! Just in from New England!

Handyman admits to killing at least 8 Massachusetts Women! 

2 hrs 30 mins ago

SPRINGFIELD, Mass. – The one-time handyman did not even pick up a macabre nickname as he attacked and strangled at least eight women in his hometown of Springfield in the 1990s, becoming one of his state's most prolific serial killers. The scale of his killing spree only recently became clear when Gaynor, imprisoned on four murder convictions, confessed this fall to four other unsolved slayings in which he'd been a longtime suspect. Charges are possible in two more deaths for which he's confessed: a 20-year-old mother and her toddler daughter in 1996. The deaths terrorized this western Massachusetts city, where Mace permit requests soared as the women's bodies were discovered in alleys, vehicles and their own homes between 1995 and 1998.

“O beautiful for pilgrims feet,
Whose stem impassioned stress
A thoroughfare for freedom beat
Across the wilderness!
America! America!
God shed his grace on thee
Till paths be wrought through
wilds of thought
By pilgrim foot and knee!”

From our national news desk, this breaking story! Shocking Nixon-Kissinger Tapes: "So What if Soviets Gas Jews?"

White House adviser and Secretary of State Henry Kissinger once told President Richard Nixon, "And if they put Jews into gas chambers in the Soviet Union, it is not an American concern.”

Friends of Israel



“O beautiful for glory-tale
Of liberating strife
When once and twice,
for man's avail
Men lavished precious life!
America! America!
God shed his grace on thee
Till selfish gain no longer stain
The banner of the free!”

And now for some good news!

Rockefeller's grand ole tree lights up New York City with celeb performances, and tons of tourists.All of New York City oohed and ahhed when the entirety of the tree lit up with 30,000 LED lights on the 74-foot-tall spruce, and was topped with a 550-lb. Swarovski crystal star.

Isn't it beautiful!
 

“O beautiful for patriot dream
That sees beyond the years
Thine alabaster cities gleam
Undimmed by human tears!
America! America!
God shed his grace on thee
Till nobler men keep once again
Thy whiter jubilee!”

What a marvelous place to bring up Jewish children!