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Jewish Education Quiz #3

By Tzvi Fishman
11/20/2010, 12:00 AM

For the past decade, as my children have grown older, they have taken the bagrut post-high school examinations, so I am pretty familiar with test formats and questions. One format presents a general text and then asks questions to gage a person’s comprehension of the subject matter.

So here is a list of general statements, followed by some questions. You have ten minutes to complete the quiz.

1. Jews who live in Israel speak Hebrew. Jews who live in America peak English.

2. Jewish children who grow up in Israel speak Hebrew, think in Hebrew, and dream in Hebrew. Jewish children who grow up in America speak English, think in English, and dream in English.

3. Jews who live in Israel vote for the Prime Minister of Israel. Jews who live in America vote for the President of the United States.

You put him in office.

 

4. Jews who live in Israel pay taxes to the Jewish government of Israel. Jews who live in America pay taxes to the gentile government of America.

5. Jews who live in Israel serve in the Israel Defense Forces. Most Jews who live in America don’t serve in the army at all.

6. The majority of students in Israeli Universities are Jewish. The majority of students in American universities are gentiles.

7. All of the major holidays in Israel are Jewish. All of the major holidays in America are gentile.

8. Jews who live in Israel perform a mitzvah every second of their lives, even when not engaged in observing religious precepts, when they sit, walk, shop, and even sleep, millions of mitzvah minutes are compiled just by being in Israel and thus strengthening Jewish settlement in the Land. Jews who live in America don’t perform any mitzvah at all when they are not engaged in acts of religious observance and are just wasting time.

Jews in Israel rack up millions of mitzvah points just by living there.

 

9. Jews who live in Israel perform the commandments in the place where they were meant to be performed. Jews who live in America perform the commandments in order to remember them, so they will know how to do them when they come back to Israel.

10. Every step a Jew takes in the Land of Israel earns him a higher place in Olam Haba. Every step a Jew takes in America only wears out his shoes.

Walking in America won't get you anywhere.

 

11. Every day in Israel, the Kohanim bless the congregation. In America, the Kohanim only bless the congregation on the Festivals.       

12. Any Jew who is buried in Israel, his sins are atoned for, as if he was buried beneath the Temple Altar, and he will be among the first to return to life at the time of Resurrection. Any Jew buried in America will have to roll through painful underground tunnels to Israel in order to be resurrected.

If you don't call Nefesh B'Nefesh, this is what awaits you.

Questions:

1. Who lives a more complete Jewish life – Jews in Israel, or Jews in America?

2. Whose children are more likely to grow up with a confused and watered-down Jewish identity – Jew in Israel, or Jews in America?

3. Whose grandchildren are more likely to intermarry – Jews in Israel, or Jews in America?

4. Who makes G-d happier – Jews in Israel, or Jews in America?

5. Who will have a greater reward in Olam Haba – Jews who lived in Israel, or Jews who lived in America?

Please think for a few moments before you answer.

Shavuah tov!