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Life Lessons with Judy Simon
Before making Aliyah to Israel, Tzvi Fishman was a Hollywood screenwriter. He has co-authored 4 books with Rabbi David Samson, based on the teachings of Rabbi Kook, Eretz Yisrael, Art of T'shuva, War and Peace, and Torat Eretz Yisrael.
A few months ago, the famous golfer, Tiger Woods, entered a rehab clinic to overcome his addiction to sex. Inspired by his story, I figured that if Tiger could give up womanizing, then I could give up my addiction to blogging. So to break the habit, I went cold turkey and stayed off the web for a month.
In the battle against the evil inclination, the Chofetz Chaim teaches that by simply resisting the urge on three consecutive occasions, a person can break free of his addiction to sin. Triumphing over the evil inclination on three consecutive occasions, whether it be in not stealing, or in not talking badly about people, establishes what is called a “chazakah” or a precedent that has the power to change a situation for the better.
(This also, he explains, works the other way. The first time a person commits a sin, he feels bad for having violated the Torah. The next time he repeats the sin, it already doesn’t seem so bad. The third time he does it, he thinks he is doing a mitzvah!)
This practical, three-steps to tshuva, can be applied to everything, whether it be an addiction to masturbation, watching pornography on the Internet, homosexuality, speaking bad about the Land of Israel, denigrating Torah scholars, and the like.
Just say no three times and you’re free! This doesn’t mean that the evil urge will go away forever, but the three time “chazakah” will establish a solid base of operation, proving that you can overcome your evil “yetzer” inclinations if you wish. Because you won the battle three times, you can win the battle forever.
Just as I stopped blogging for a month, we took down the jewishsexuality.com site for renovations. During the past month I received several emails saying how important the site was to people, and how much they had gained from it. There were a few heartbreaking, true-confession stories about how internet porn destroyed people’s lives. So if you still haven’t downloaded an anti-porn filter, or signed up with a secure server like “Rimon” in Israel, then do so today! And don’t trust yourself with the code. Give it to your wife and don’t be ashamed. As our Sages teach, “There is no righteous man who does good and doesn’t sin,” where the inner meaning of doing good, “tov,” means in sexual matters.
So take it from an ex-compulsive blogger, life is better off without addictions, and you are only three easy steps away!