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Mashiach Now!

By Tzvi Fishman
10/21/2009, 12:00 AM

After hearing a few sentences of Bibi's speech yesterday, I had to rush to the bathroom to vomit. He blabbed about wanting peace and two states, side by side, with such sincerity that I felt sick to my stomach. Of course, he himself doesn’t believe anything he says. If Obama were to change his whip tomorrow and declare that Israel must rule over all of its Biblical territory in the interest of world security, Bibi would be the first to grow a beard and start wearing a tallit and sandals. The guy just says anything he thinks will make him popular. Nothing else matters to him.

And Peres with his Wax Museum smile. Too bad no one reminded the big international star of the 2000 Jews who have been murdered by his Arab pals since he started giving them rifles and autonomy at Oslo. What a distinguished statesman! He and Goldstone will be bunkmates in heaven for their contributions to Am Yisrael.

And what ever became of Lieberman’s tough talk against the Arabs to get him votes in the last election? Zero. All the nasty Russian bear has been doing is jumping through the hoops of the goyim on his round the world tours.

Since we are on the subject - what about the Shas Boys? They are the best breakdancers around. Mister Bo Jangles, dance. With an Al Jolson tap tap tap and a bow, hands outstretched to take the money from the crowd.

They’re all phonies. Of course, it’s all a part of G-d’s plan, to make us cry out for Mashiach.

He’s the only one who can change things. First, he’ll imprison all of the bimboes who dare strut around the streets of the Holy Land in immodest attire. Then he’ll give the Jews of the Diaspora an ultimatum – either come on aliyah now or join the fate of the goyim. Next, he’ll tell the Arabs to get out of the country by high noon. If the UN complains, a Tzunami will hit NY the same day. If Obama threatens to take action, the White House will be swallowed up into the earth. If Peres orders all of the Yassamnikim to arrest the Mashiach, they will all be turned into statues of wax on the spot.

Look out Flatbush!

We want Mashiach now! We want Mashiach now! I’m ready. What about you?