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EXCLUSIVE!! Photos of Vienna Mike

By Tzvi Fishman
3/8/2009, 12:00 AM

I recently received this letter and accompanying photos from an anonymous sender who insists that he has discovered the identity of “Mike from Vienna, Virginia.” I have edited out real names and places to avoid legal hassles.

Dear Mr. Fishman:

You don’t know me, and I don’t know you, except through your blog which I have now just discovered in the following way. Saturday night, I was having a drink in one of our local bars here in @@@@ when one of the fellas got a bit rowdy. He was throwing darts into a dartboard with deadly accuracy, and cursing with each throw, “I hate him! I hate him!” he kept repeating.

"I'll kill him!"

“Who do you hate?” I asked him.

“Fishy,” he said.

Finishing off a bottle of beer, he set it down next to another four empties on the table and hurled another dart straight into the bulls-eye.

“Who’s Fishy?” I asked.

“Fishface,” he replied.

Out of darts, he sat drunkenly down at the table. Suddenly, he burst out crying. “I hate his Israeli guts.” he said.  “He humiliates me with every blog he writes. He makes me sound like a jerk. Because of him, the whole world thinks I’m a coward.”

“What blog is that?” I inquired.

“Israel National News, you peon!” he answered, shouting for another beer. “I’m going to kill him. You’ll see. I don’t lack the means. I didn’t spend half my life in the army for nothing. If I could kill a couple dozen Taliban in Afghanistan, and two dozen A-rabs in Iraq, I can surely knock off one lemming of an Israeli Jew.”

“To hell with them all!” he continued, gulping down half of his new beer. “To hell with the world. They didn’t want to read my website, so to hell with them all. Let them all nuke each other off the friggin map. Old Vienna Mike will have the last laugh. He’ll outlive them all.”

“How are you going to do that?” I asked him.

“On Vienna’s Mike’s Survival Ark, that’s how. What do you think about that?”

“You must be a real genius,” I said to him, to get on his good side. “I’d sure like to see it, if it really exists.”

So we made an appointment to meet the next day. Here are the pictures. He’s got enough food to survive for a year in his galley, along with all kinds of gas masks, water purifiers, Geiger counters, chemical suits, oxygen tanks, helmets, radiation antigens, and weapons.

Vienna Mike and his Survival Ark
"I built it all by myself."
Ready for sailing.
Vienna Mike with crew

So, Mr. Fishman, if you are the Fishy that he was talking about, please beware.