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Freak Election Day Blizzard UPDATE See TB#35

By Tzvi Fishman
2/8/2009, 12:00 AM

That’s what I’m predicting. Because starting tonight, I am going to start praying for a Tuesday snowstorm. Not just an ordinary snowstorm, but an all-day blizzard, with rain and sleet and hail. And 100 mile-an-hour winds. Let G-d throw in some leftover Egyptian locusts, and lice, and boils, and giant hailstones to keep apathetic voters at home. That way only the most dedicated, most Zionist diehards will come out and cast their ballots. And who are they? The lovers of Eretz Yisrael. The settlers. The hilltop youth. The orange army, and everyone who still has enough sense to want to save the country from the chopper’s block of Kedima, Lieberman, and the Likud. If everyone prays for a voting-day blizzard, then the next Israeli government will be run by religious Jews with “Ketzaleh” at its head.

Freak Snowstorm Keeps Voters at Home

Fantasy? Wishful thinking? No way. Anyone who has been following the last few Torah readings about the Exodus knows that it can happen. Join me in praying for even a torrential downpour and the religious will sweep the elections. The secular won’t want to get wet. Instead, they’ll spend their day off watching TV and getting stoned. Only the Jews who really care about the Land of Israel and the Torah will brave the stormy weather, and that’s, first and foremost, the supporters of the “Echud HaLeumi.”

After I vote for them in the morning, I will be spending the day driving elderly voters to the polling stations in my car, so they can also vote for Ketzaleh and the “Echud HaLeumi.” I have already put on my snow tires and got new windshield wipers. But I need your help, so start praying now.

I don’t know about snow, but if it doesn’t rain cats and dogs on Tuesday, then, blee nader, I quit this blog. You hear that up in heaven? If it doesn’t rain on Tuesday, then I quit this blog! Is that what you want – to give the lovers of galut the satisfaction of being finished with Fishman? Who will yell at them? Who will expose their charade?

Let’s face it. It’s a simple question of numbers. If the religious Jews in the Diaspora would come to live in Israel, the government in Israel would be religious. The Prime Minister would be religious. It’s as simple as can be. The lovers of the exile can find fault with a million things in Israel, but they are the ones to blame.