In my new series I hope to divulge some of the more unusual and funky Chanukah songs I have discovered over the years.
Adam Goren is a Jewish American performer who has released many solo albums under the name Atom and his Package. Goren plays guitar, sings and backs himself up with a drum machine and synthesizer. With fast buzzing guitars, the music sounds like punk rock but the vocals and attitude makes him closer to Weird Al Yankovic or They Might Be Giants. Most of the songs are quirky and silly.
On his 1999 album he has a sing-songy track called What We Do On Christmas. I present the lyrics here as a public service.What We Do on ChristmasAtom and His Package1999 No Idea RecordsYou know those right wing crazy people talk about how there’s a Jewish conspiracy and how the Jews run the media and they have all the money and they pretty much dominate the world. No? Well, I’ve heard of it, and you know, well that would pretty much leave one day of the year when no one else is around to have a whole day of planning of world domination. That’s Christmas. Merry Christmas buddies.It’s Christmas Eve and you know why I’m hardly sleepingThere are no presents waiting for me on the floorIt’s the one day of the year when I use what my super Jewish powers are forIntroduced to the network at my bar mitzvahGot my code ring number its 16761While your sitting around the tree in that knock off menorahYour idol, we want justice is donePrincess DiWe killed herEl Nino we made itReggie White is stupidBilly Joel lets trade himLet the neo-Nazis know that we’re part of the conspiracyIf we’re as strong as they think you’d think they’d be nicer to meYou’re still mad about what happened to your pal JesusWell if he didn’t die for your sins you’d be going to hell with the rest of usWouldn’t you like to knowWhat we doWhat we doWhat we doOn ChristmasYou think we’re sitting polishing our hornsOr making soup with the blood of Christian bornYou think I’m being rudeWe’re at a movie eating Chinese foodThis is the disclaimer.
My name is Adam.
I’m a Jewish boy.
I’m very neurotic that people are going to get mad at me.
I like Jews.
I like Christian people.
There should be no problem.
It’s not that funny.
Atom's other Jewish oriented song is called The Palestinians are Not the Same as the Rebel Alliance. It blasts American liberals that blindly defend anti-Israel terrorist groups because they think its trendy.
In the liner notes he says that "surely there are some people who blindly defend the Israeli side as well, but these are not the people who I come into contact with at shows... It’s disturbing how they trivialize things to Star Wars-esque proportions
I present the lyrics, slightly edited, as a public service.The Palestinians Are Not the Same as the Rebel AllianceAtom and His Package2003 Hopeless RecordsYou're so LeftistYou're so pro-peaceYou hate the death penaltyBut love it in the Middle EastDon't know the factsJust catch phrase wordsNo different than the Nazi boneheadsThe other side just got to you firstCritical thinkingNo thanks not at allAdmit it you just like postersOf men with machine guns up on your wallMakes you feel goodMakes you feel rightSimplified complexityIt's easy to cheer when it's black and whiteI'm impressed that you're so badI'm impressed with your defiance (Hello, I am sarcastic)You do know the Palestinians are not the same thingAs the Rebel AllianceSay stupid things like"The United States is the only terrorist nation"Ha ha nice educationAdd inane hip argumentsWhen it comes your turnAll the while weakening and invalidatingLegit concernsSupposed to be criticalSupposed to be cynicalBlind loyaltyDumb jocky political
For more info you can visit his web site at http://www.atomandhispackage.com.
Coming up in my future blogs I will discuss more crazy Chanukah oriented songs by Yerachmiel Zeigler, Damon and Naomi, Subliminal, Don McLean and more. If you have any suggestions, feel free to email me at email@example.com