In my new series I hope to divulge some of the more unusual and funky Chanukah songs I have discovered over the years.

Adam Goren is a Jewish American performer who has released many solo albums under the name Atom and his Package. Goren plays guitar, sings and backs himself up with a drum machine and synthesizer. With fast buzzing guitars, the music sounds like punk rock but the vocals and attitude makes him closer to Weird Al Yankovic or They Might Be Giants. Most of the songs are quirky and silly.

On his 1999 album he has a sing-songy track called What We Do On Christmas. I present the lyrics here as a public service.

What We Do on Christmas
Atom and His Package
1999 No Idea Records

You know those right wing crazy people talk about how there’s a Jewish conspiracy and how the Jews run the media and they have all the money and they pretty much dominate the world. No? Well, I’ve heard of it, and you know, well that would pretty much leave one day of the year when no one else is around to have a whole day of planning of world domination. That’s Christmas. Merry Christmas buddies.

It’s Christmas Eve and you know why I’m hardly sleeping
There are no presents waiting for me on the floor
It’s the one day of the year when I use what my super Jewish powers are for
Introduced to the network at my bar mitzvah
Got my code ring number its 16761
While your sitting around the tree in that knock off menorah
Your idol, we want justice is done

Princess Di
We killed her
El Nino we made it
Reggie White is stupid
Billy Joel lets trade him

Let the neo-Nazis know that we’re part of the conspiracy
If we’re as strong as they think you’d think they’d be nicer to me
You’re still mad about what happened to your pal Jesus
Well if he didn’t die for your sins you’d be going to hell with the rest of us

Wouldn’t you like to know
What we do
What we do
What we do
On Christmas

You think we’re sitting polishing our horns
Or making soup with the blood of Christian born
You think I’m being rude
We’re at a movie eating Chinese food

This is the disclaimer.
My name is Adam.
I’m a Jewish boy.
I’m very neurotic that people are going to get mad at me.
I like Jews.
I like Christian people.
There should be no problem.
It’s not that funny.

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Atom's other Jewish oriented song is called The Palestinians are Not the Same as the Rebel Alliance. It blasts American liberals that blindly defend anti-Israel terrorist groups because they think its trendy.  

In the liner notes he says that "surely there are some people who blindly defend the Israeli side as well, but these are not the people who I come into contact with at shows... It’s disturbing how they trivialize things to Star Wars-esque proportions."

I present the lyrics, slightly edited, as a public service.

The Palestinians Are Not the Same as the Rebel Alliance
Atom and His Package
2003 Hopeless Records

You're so Leftist
You're so pro-peace
You hate the death penalty
But love it in the Middle East
Don't know the facts
Just catch phrase words
No different than the Nazi boneheads
The other side just got to you first

Critical thinking
No thanks not at all
Admit it you just like posters
Of men with machine guns up on your wall

Makes you feel good
Makes you feel right
Simplified complexity
It's easy to cheer when it's black and white

I'm impressed that you're so bad
I'm impressed with your defiance (Hello, I am sarcastic)
You do know the Palestinians are not the same thing
As the Rebel Alliance

Say stupid things like
"The United States is the only terrorist nation"
Ha ha nice education
Add inane hip arguments
When it comes your turn
All the while weakening and invalidating
Legit concerns

Supposed to be critical
Supposed to be cynical
Blind loyalty
Dumb jocky political

For more info you can visit his web site at http://www.atomandhispackage.com. Coming up in my future blogs I will discuss more crazy Chanukah oriented songs by Yerachmiel Zeigler, Damon and Naomi,  Subliminal, Don McLean and more. If you have any suggestions, feel free to email me at bbresky@israelnationalradio.com