Quotes & Notes Corner: Mickey Mouse to Join Al-Qaeda?

Arutz 7 Analysts,

לבן ריק
לבן ריק
צילום: ערוץ 7
Arutz 7 Analysts
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As a veteran analyst of the Middle East, I foresee trouble brewing between Saudi Arabia, Iran and Hamas. It looks to be a bad one, possibly as historically significant as the Sunni-Shi'a split. I fear for international stability, my friends. And all over few imaginary mice.

It seems Saudi Arabia has launched a direct, aggressive and unprecedented attack on Hamas. I hesitate to even bring it up, for fear of causing riots worldwide. But, what the heck, there'll be riots anyway......

Thanks to MEMRI, we now know that Saudi cleric Muhammad al-Munajid has issued a fatwa against Mickey Mouse and Jerry. On Al-Majd TV on August 27, 2008, he said:

"According to Islamic law, the mouse is a repulsive, corrupting creature. How do you think children view mice today – after Tom and Jerry? Even creatures that are repulsive by nature, by logic, and according to Islamic law have become wonderful and are loved by children. Even mice. Mickey Mouse has become an awesome character, even though according to Islamic law, Mickey Mouse should be killed in all cases."

(The MEMRI-provided and translated video clip can be seen here: http://www.memritv.org/clip/en/1850.htm)

If you don't understand how this is an attack on the manly and Islamic honor of Hamas, well, it just means you have failed to understand the Middle Eastern mindset. Now, pay attention.

If Mickey Mouse is to be killed, then what of Farfour? Yes, Farfour - that Hamas-created jihadist Muslim supremacist mouse beloved by children throughout Gaza. Watch and read about Farour, the Mickey Mouse look-alike, here: http://www.israelnationalnews.com/News/News.aspx/122365.

And, as usual, the Iranian scholars take our discussion a step further, with more insightful and more trenchant analysis. Thanks to Professor Hasan Bolkhari we now know that Hamas has actually fallen prey to a Jewish conspiracy to corrupt the world and make mice acceptable.

As Prof. Bolkhari explained so lucidly: "The Jews were degraded and termed 'dirty mice.' Tom and Jerry was made in order to change the Europeans' perception of mice."

(The video evidence of this nefarious Jewish plot can be seen here: http://www.memritv.org/clip/en/1049.htm)

How will this terrible, terrible conflict between these righteous Muslim factions end? I don't know for sure, but let's face it, mostly, it ends with them just killing each other for a few hundred years.

So clearly, Jerry, Mickey and Farfour, if they are to survive in the Middle East, can't allow their honor to be besmirched in this way. I predict the formation of the Mousejahideen Brigades in coming weeks. With time, they may link up with al-Qaeda and become "al-Qaeda of the Wainscoting" (AQWA), bent on holy war for the sake of rodents everywhere.

POSTSCRIPT: Now that I think about it, Farfour was killed by Israeli agents last year. So, wait a minute. Does that mean that the Jews finally get credit for doing a mitzvah under Islam, as practiced in Saudi Arabia? I'm so confused.

Researched, compiled and presented by Nissan Ratzlav-Katz