As P. J. O'Rourke said, everyone wants to save the planet but no one wants to help Mom do the dishes.

For years most of us have believed that the Nobel Peace Prize could not possibly be debased any worse than it has been.  Shimon Peres and mass murderer Yassir Arafat were granted a Nobel "Peace Prize" for plunging the Middle East into an endless cycle of terrorist aggression against Israel and for putting Israel's very survival into jeopardy.  Arafat's share of the loot was used to buy weapons.  True, the decision to elect Peres as President of Israel is so much more absurd that the Nobel Committee looks lucid in comparison.  The only "peace" the Prize really celebrates is that where Arafat now Rests In.

And theirs wasn't even the only Orwellian award of the Peace Prize.  Bishop Desmond Tutu, who thinks the Israel Lobby is a manifestation of Nazism and supports anti-Jewish terror, also got the award.  For years Israel's Moonbatocracy has been trying to nominate Uri Avnery, Israel's Lord Haw-Haw, for one.  Israeli communists have been promoting terrorist accomplice Tali Fahima for one.  And let us not forget Goobers the Peanut Brain, the worst president in American history but a Nobel Prize holder!

But the decision to grant a Nobel Peace prize to Whacky Al Gore for his environmentalist hysterics and pseudo-scientific posturing must surely rival the earlier absurdities.  Gore, who was defeated in the Presidential election even though he tried to steal it by only recounting the ballots in his favor in Florida, is also the guy who claims to have invented the internet.  He has reinvented himself in recent years as a groupie of radical environmentalist nuttiness.

It seems that whenever countries get too rich and comfortable, their chattering classes start wringing their hands over the environment.  It is part of the price those countries pay for not having more serious national problems and challenges.

"Global Warming" has become the leading pseudo-cause of those practicing recreational compassion, people looking for a cheap way to impress their friends and neighbors about how caring they are.  Recycling bins on their lawns are their version of a PC creche.  As P. J. O'Rourke said, everyone wants to save the planet but no one wants to help Mom do the dishes.

Global warning is the cause celebre of the moral posturers, except when they are warning us about the dangers of global cooling (and there are many who still do THAT!).  They discover thinning ice shields in the polar regions except in the areas where it is getting thicker. They chant the mantra that George Bush and America's refusal to sign the Kyoto Protocol is behind the warming and the hurricanes.  Of course, if the earth is really getting a smidgen warmer it has nothing to do with humans.  Mars is getting warmer and its ice caps are melting a bit.  Gore will no doubt attribute that to selfish Republicans as well.

I have always thought that the idea that humans can change a planet's climate is a bit of megalomania.  A more believable take on planetary survivability is in this week's Torah portion, about Noah and the rainbow.  While there is doubt as to whether global warming is even taking place, there is no doubt at all that humans - if it is for real - have nothing to do with it.   

The global warming hysteria also ignores the many benefits and positive aspects of global warming.  Even those who are convinced beyond a doubt that it is occurring agree that its main manifestation is slightly warmer winter nights.  Since my heating system does not work very well, I for one would welcome warmer winter nights.  No one knows how warmer climate affects rainfall but it is likely to cause more of it, and that surely is good for Israel, and the British would deserve it!

Ever since the first shrieks about global warming were heard, I have been checking the beaches of Haifa, hoping to see a visible sign of some rise in ocean surface levels.  But alas, not even a bit.  On the other hand, all those tales about tropical orchids growing at the North Poll are actually reasons for celebration!

There are so many benefits from global warming, I think it behooves all of us to do our parts to create more of it!

First, if the ice pack over Greenland really does melt, this might be a nice place to create a "Palestinian state."   The terrorists could undergo career reorientation and take to cod fishing.  They could throw grenades at whales.  Ahmedinejad and his ayatollahs could be sent there, as a substitute for Alaska, where they want to send all the Jews.

Second, I can see numerous benefits for the world from any rise in ocean surface levels.  It would solve most of the problems of the Middle East!  

Flooding the Gaza Strip with ocean water due to rising sea levels would surely stop the Kassam rockets.  Now THAT is something worth buying an SUV over in order to achieve!  True, some other areas might be inundated.  But what is wrong with Ramat Aviv being under some nice sea water?  The leftist yuppies in the upper floors of their buildings would not be affected and would get capital gains on their oceanfront property.  The others could simply relocate and make aliya to Eretz Yisrael, getting new homes in Gush Etzion, Efrat and Ariel. 

Elsewhere, rising sea levels would erase Venice, California, and Santa Cruz.  The hills in Berkeley where the employed professionals live would be safe, but the Berkeley lowlands where the radicals posture and protest would be eliminated.  The more I think about it, the more I like the idea!

Israel is so small that it cannot be seen on most global maps.  But even so, we really should be doing more in order to hasten global warming.  Cutting taxes on imports of SUVs would be a good place to start and would also lower the traffic fatality rate.

So let's do our part to hasten global warming!  A Nobel Peace Prize may be in it for us!