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Homeward Bound

By Tzvi Fishman
5/30/2007, 12:00 AM

The bad news is that my wife and my 14 year-old daughter had to fly to America for a family wedding. The good news is that both the bride and the groom are Jews. The even better news is that they are shortening their trip and returning to Eretz Yisrael after only five days because my daughter says that the people there only talk about money and she feels bored. She also complains that the fruit has no taste, she is afraid to find insects in the salad, the buildings remind her of pictures of Rome, there are churches wherever you look, and Orthodox women walk around in public without covering their hair, as if they were single girls. So I am paying El Al a $200 penalty in order to bring them back home early, so they don’t have to suffer another make-believe Shabbat in America.

Thank G-d, out of the five million Jews in America, at least they are homeward bound. As the prophets, Simon and Garfunkel, teach, "Get on the bus, Gus, don’t need to discuss much – just get yourself free."

Ancient Rome or W.D.C?
U. S.Supreme Court or Roman Plebiscitary?

PS: Readers interested in learning more about the Torah commandment obligating married woman to cover their hair (found in last week’s Torah portion of Naso) are invited to link to "Do Blonds Still Have More Fun" at www.jewishsexuality.com.