The Sunday Funnies - Year 2017: The Moments

PERIDOT,

לבן ריק
לבן ריק
צילום: ערוץ 7
PERIDOT
PERIDOT is an American writer living abroad.

IN MEMORIAM

STATUS – QUO

killed by Palestinian incitement, buried by Trump

UN SECURITY COUNCIL RESOLUTION

conspired to stop the burial of  STATUS – QUO

killed by Nikki Haley, on the order of Trump

__________________________________________________________________________________________________________

BEST/WORST MOMENTS; AWARDS 2017

Best Trumpet Blast in a single blow by a single head of State:  The honor goes to U.S. President Trump for officially recognizing Israel’s capital Jerusalem from time immemorial.

Best/Worst Resignation by a head of State:  The honor goes to Prime Minister Saad Hariri of Lebanon who televised his decision from Riyadh, Saudi Arabia.  “In his speech, Hariri threatened to cut off Iran’s embrace of his country through their proxy Hezbollah, and blamed Iran for destabilizing the region.  Furthermore, Hariri claimed to have been alerted by his staff of Hezbollah’s plans to throw him a ‘surprise going away party,’ which he didn’t want to attend. . .”  (12/11/17, Sunday Funnies)

Best Dress 2017 Award in all categories goes to the “Jerusalem of Gold Dress,” worn beautifully by Israel’s Culture Minister, MK Miri Regev, at this year’s Cannes Film Festival.  The exquisitely tailored full length, gold and white bejewelled dress was especially commissioned by the Culture Minister to show off in spectacular fashion the seamless capital of Israel, Jerusalem.  The hem of the dress was adorned with the Old City, the Temple Mount, and the Tower of David.  The French Riviera never looked so good as when the “Jerusalem of Gold Dress” stood on the red carpet.    MK Regev captured the moment, “Some say, ‘there were no miracles in 1967’ - don’t you believe it!”

Best Selfie 2017 Award goes to MK Oren Hazan who sneaked a selfie with U.S. President Trump to the dismay of Prime Minister Netanyahu, and became an instant rock star!  It happened on the tarmac of Ben Gurion Airport, and on the President’s first visit to Israel.  Americans called it “Awesome!” while the PM and other MKs called it “misbehaving.”

Best Breakup Talks 2017:  Israel/UNESCO

Israel: “You don’t love me UNESCO, I’m leaving you ...”

UNESCO: “Please don’t go Israel, we’ll give you the Temple Mount back.”

 (29/10/17, Sunday Funnies)

Note:  UNESCO has since added, “Please don’t go Israel, some of our best friends are Jewish.”

 Worst Breakup Talks 2017:  Spain/Catalonia 

Catalonia: “You don’t love me Spain, I’m leaving you…”

Spain:  "You’re dead to me Catalonia!  I’m taking away your paella, arresting your chefs, and destroying your kitchen!”

Catalonia: “Why can’t we have two-kitchens living side by side, in peace and security…por que??”  (29/10/17, Sunday Funnies)

Runner-up:  UK/EU, fondly known as BREXIT

Worst National Anthem Award, since the 1936 Nazi Olympics goes to:  UAE

“Last night, the UAE closed its ceremony of the Abu Dhabi Grand Slam judo tournament by playing the 1936 German national anthem, in memory of Jesse Owens.”  (29/10/17, Sunday Funnies – Special Edition)

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

WHAT WILL THE FUTURE BRING?

Will the United Kingdom stay united?  Will the EU survive BREXIT?

Will Abbas sue the British Government over the 1917 Balfour Declaration?

Will Balfour sue the British Government for defacing his Declaration by doodling on it, and publishing the doodled version of the 1939 White Paper?

Will the new map of Syria be drawn up by a new set of Doodlers?

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________