The Sunday Funnies - Diplomacy

PERIDOT,

לבן ריק
לבן ריק
צילום: ערוץ 7
PERIDOT
PERIDOT is an American writer living abroad.

SAUDI ARABIA

Saudi Arabia sent a memo to Israel today explaining their reasons why the two countries cannot have formal diplomatic relations: “Our ways are not your ways, and our practices are not your practices.  You practice something you call ‘Tikkun Olam’ and on this we have no po‎sition.  More importantly, you allow your citizens to vote, Haaretz to publish, and women to drive.”

FRANCE

France's President Emmanuel Macron made an ambitious visit last week to the Arab Gulf States, meeting with heads of state in the UAE and Saudi Arabia.  Macron was trying hard to sell Liberte, Egalite, Fraternite, but no one was buying it, except Hariri who followed Macron back to Paris on Saturday.

 UK

UK Prime Minister Theresa May met with EU leaders in Gothenburg, Sweden on Friday.  Mrs. May was hoping to use the EU Summit to deepen the “special partnership” she wants with the EU post-BREXIT, especially in terms of trade.  She made the following impassioned speech: “Give us your wealthy, give us your brilliant minds, and we will give you abode on our fair Island!”

POLAND

Poland remained silent, while antisemites last weekend took to the streets of Warsaw demanding Polish Jews leave Poland.  The UK was surprised, since Poland has consistently implored Britain to allow Poles to remain in the UK after BREXIT.

Israel meanwhile says, “Who loves you Baby, come home.”

RUSSIA

Russian President Vladimir Putin met with his Turkish counterpart Recep Tayyip Erdogan on Monday at Putin’s Potemkin village, Sochi.  They enjoyed skiing, horseback riding, and cartography.  The ruptured ties between the two countries have been fully “restored”, according to Putin.

JERUSALEM AND ATHENS

Greek Orthodox Church of Jerusalem Patriarch Theophilos III disclosed today the real reason the Church is selling its property in Israel at fire sale prices: “We’re moving to Greece to mine for gold!  All proceeds from the Church’s property sales in Jerusalem will go towards building the Grand Mosque of Athens, which we believe will one day become the fourth most important site in all Islam.”  Everyone wishes the Church speedy travel and Kalo Taksidi!

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