The Sunday Funnies - Golan Heights/Arabian Nights

PERIDOT,

לבן ריק
לבן ריק
צילום: ערוץ 7
PERIDOT
PERIDOT is an American writer living abroad.

I RECOGNIZE EWE

Today, sheep from all over England have volunteered to be trained by researchers at Cambridge University to recognize the Golan Heights.

NON-EXISTENT PROTEST RECOGNIZED

If you’re visiting London today, this is the protest you will not see:

Protest of the IDF providing treatment to wounded Syrian refugees on the Golan Heights; and a demand for the IDF field hospital to be removed from the Golan Heights, which the UK doesn’t recognize as belonging to Israel.

UNITED NATIONS POLICY ON RECOGNIZING

“The UN’s policy is to recognize humanitarian work being carried out from places we don’t recognize, except in the case of Israel where we recognize neither, but allow the former to exist.  We do ask Israel at this time to turn off their lamps when operating on patients, as these are blinding us.”

UN RECOGNIZES - A LIGHT ON A HILL CAN NOT BE HIDDEN

THIS IS AN URGENT MESSAGE FROM THE UNITED NATIONS EMERGENCY BROADCASTING SYSTEM:  WILL IDF SOLDIERS OPERATING ON THE GOLAN HEIGHTS PLEASE PUT AWAY YOUR LAMPS - YOU’RE BLINDING THE NATIONS.

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________

ARABIAN NIGHTS

Last weekend, Saad Hariri decided to resign from his role as Prime Minister of Lebanon and televised his decision from Riyadh.  In his speech, Hariri threatened to cut off Iran’s embrace of his country through their proxy Hezbollah, and blamed Iran for destabilizing the region.  Furthermore, Hariri claimed to have been alerted by his staff of Hezbollah’s plans to throw him a “surprise going away party,” which he didn’t want to attend.

Saudi Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman, a former supermodel, extended hospitality to Hariri on the condition that he would not start a blog criticising the palace’s inside walls or exterior paint, as he was about to give the palace a massive sweep and much needed redecorating.

WHILE BACK IN LEBANON . . .

Hezbollah’s leader, Hassan Nasrallah took to the airwaves to sing to Hariri, “Where Did Our Love Go” and “Baby Come Back.”

WHILE BACK IN THE PALACE - WHERE DID ALL THE PRINCES GO? ..

The Crown Prince arrested 11 Princes and put them up at the Ritz-Carlton, where they are being tortured by the hotel’s amenities.

WHILE IN YEMEN . . .

The Houthi rebels, a proxy of Iran in Yemen, fired off a ballistic missile over the Saudi capital, Riyadh.  The missile was intercepted and destroyed by the Patriot missile defence system, made in the USA for such a time as this (you’re welcome).  A few days later the Houthis offered the detained Princes political asylum in Yemen, if they could just get to the border where Iran's Revolutionary Guard would meet them and take them to safety, and away from “oppression and persecution.”

WHILE OUTSIDE THE PALACE NEAR BORDER WITH YEMEN . . 

A senior Saudi prince and seven other officials were killed in a helicopter “crash” - and no one wants to talk about it any further or reveal the cause of the crash.

WHILE IN IRAN . . .

Supreme Leader Ayatollah Khamenei could be seen from a distance drawing an ever-larger love triangle over a map of the region.

_______________________________________________________________________________________



More Arutz Sheva videos: